Story of Cory Snyder

...which is marginally true:

http://choosepoorly.blogspot.com/2007/09/andyaudascom-marginally-true-sports.html

Cory Snyder, great late 80's baseball hero and beloved American, was born and raised in Topeka, Kansas. As a Mormon, young Snyder was honored and revered by members of his church as a direct descendant of Joseph Smith himself. Yet, he was troubled by the ridicules of non-Mormon classmates. Salvation soon came, as Cory blossomed into a sports hero at a very young age. Cory took especially well to the game of baseball, where he excelled even at the age of nine in his first little league game. It wasn't until his high school years that his body caught up with his excellent baseball mind, and he developed the tools that would one day take him sort of close to what might be considered the top of baseball during what is widely considered one of lowest points in its history. He had all of the so-called "Five Six Tools O' Doom": a cannon for an arm, amazing speed, fielding agility, hitting, and power hitting, and a gorgeous, flowing mustache. A blond gorgeous, flowing mustache...