Fausto... looks better than this.

by Fire Slider on Nov 24, 2008 6:34 PM EST

So here's my embarrassing story.

Remember the whole Fausto vs. Sheff thing? I basically don't. I live in Atlanta so it wasn't on the tube, and I was more or less blackout drunk by the time I got home to see the highlights on the Worldwide Leader. It was a Friday, so I had an excuse.

Anyway, what's a drunk guy do when he sees a Tribe pitcher clock this jerk? Well, he logs on and buys himself a jersey. For 255.98.

But the problem is that MLB doesn't sell these things in my size, 46". They only sell 44" and 48". And that night I'm all full of liquid confidence, so I figure I'll look way better in the 44".

No such luck, gents. I'm no David Wells, but apparently I'm no Raffy Perez either. And the real problem is that MLB makes these "customized" player jerseys final purchases.

So anyway, I've got this 44" Carmona Authentic Road Alternate. And it just don't fit. Never wore it. It's been sitting in the closet since September, tags and all. It's still got the invoice stuck to it, matter of fact.

Anyway, I'm not trying to hock it here, because that would be cheesy. But I'm taking suggestions. eBay once the season starts? Cleveland craigslist? What do y'all think?

(And yeah, I realized after watching the tape 43 times (sober) that Vic was equally as badass and possibly even more frightening, so maybe I should've bought #41. But that's neither here nor there.)

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Comments

$255.98? Wow.

by Brad D on Nov 24, 2008 7:09 PM EST reply actions

rec for style

Travis Hafner is overrated. Clarity is underrated. David Dellucci is David Dellucci.

by westbrook on Nov 24, 2008 9:59 PM EST reply actions

Those jerseys are notoriously hard to size anyway. I had a similar incident. I have a Carmona home alternate in my closet. And I live in Atlanta……and I missed that brawl live…..we’re almost the same person.

by NickFantana on Nov 24, 2008 10:24 PM EST reply actions

I thought this story sounded really familiar.

by supermarioelia on Nov 25, 2008 8:59 AM EST up reply actions

so who is she mario?

Anti-Ben Fran before it was cool.

by Gradyforpresident on Nov 25, 2008 10:40 AM EST up reply actions

Word

by NickFantana on Nov 25, 2008 11:14 AM EST up reply actions

Geez news spreads fast across the Internets. Girl I met at school. We’ll see how it goes.

by supermarioelia on Nov 25, 2008 7:25 PM EST up reply actions

oh come on mario. it’s your boys at LGT.

Anti-Ben Fran before it was cool.

by Gradyforpresident on Nov 26, 2008 12:04 AM EST up reply actions

Funny, I’ve been thinking lately how slowly it spreads.

So … spill it, what’s up?

by Jay on Nov 26, 2008 12:49 AM EST up reply actions

btw, congrats jay

by Voltaire on Nov 26, 2008 3:16 AM EST up reply actions

hey i gave congrats a long time ago

Anti-Ben Fran before it was cool.

by Gradyforpresident on Nov 26, 2008 9:44 AM EST up reply actions

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ANYONE IS TALKING ABOUT.

Screw you guys, I’m going home.

Steel Nick

by nickjs21 on Nov 26, 2008 10:03 AM EST up reply actions

I had no idea what they were talking about and then I realized my facebook newsfeed had the information I was looking for

by Roger Dorn on Nov 26, 2008 3:14 PM EST up reply actions

Thanks, both of you.

Steel Nick, the big news is … you’re a loser.

by Jay on Nov 26, 2008 1:47 PM EST up reply actions

Well that’s not news at all, is it?

Steel Nick

by nickjs21 on Nov 26, 2008 3:20 PM EST up reply actions

Yeah, well, I was waiting for just the right moment.

by Voltaire on Nov 27, 2008 12:45 PM EST up reply actions

Yeah, I saw that brawl for the first time in a bar. The place went nuts. Sheffield in a headlock is currently my desktop wallpaper.

As for your jersey, I would Craiglist it. If you feel really confident wait until he wins the Cy Young.

Steel Nick

by nickjs21 on Nov 24, 2008 11:48 PM EST reply actions

Don’t go with eBay. You probably wont get more than $100 at this point. I recently picked up a 2007 cool base road alt Hafner jersey for $35 including shipping. Your instinct to wait for the season to start is correct. The better the team is, the higher the auctions may go.

I think the best way to get your $256 back is to get Fausto’s ink on it somehow and (like Nick said) pray he wins the Cy Young.

Lucky for you we’re all pulling for Fausto to win the Cy Young.

by PatBordersHelmet on Nov 25, 2008 10:42 AM EST reply actions

I was tempted to pull the trigger on this, but just can’t do it with the name on the back. Not confident that i’m buying low on it.

You know Selig? Ombudsman.

by rolub on Nov 25, 2008 2:40 PM EST up reply actions

Me neither. That’s a fashion jersey not a authentic BP jersey, right?

I only like the authentic stuff they wear on the field when it comes to jerseys or hats. You know, just in case I’m called on to play in some kind of emergency-poorly-written-sit-com-type-situation.

by PatBordersHelmet on Nov 25, 2008 3:06 PM EST up reply actions

If you’re not buying low on it now, this team has bigger problems.

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Nov 26, 2008 1:16 AM EST up reply actions

If anyone’s wondering, my dream christmas present is either of the 70s Indians’ throwbacks (the one mentioned here or the Ronnie Belliard as Oscar Gamble red one) with “Weglarz 8” on the back.

I’m probably a 44 I think.

by afh4 on Nov 25, 2008 3:18 PM EST reply actions

I am still looking for a late 80’s throwback that I can add “99 – Vaughn,” “13 – Cerano,” or “7 – Taylor” to.

"It's hard to win when you don't score." Cliff Lee, 9/28/05.

by Harry Doyle on Nov 25, 2008 5:11 PM EST up reply actions

A lot of people do that with the current ones, actually.

Steel Nick

by nickjs21 on Nov 25, 2008 10:18 PM EST up reply actions

That’s lame. I don’t understand throwbacks with current players names let alone a movie name on the wrong jersey.

You can find Vaughn, Cerrano and Dorn jersey’s on eBay. I’ve never seen Taylor, so you’d score originality points. My buddy bought a late 80s Vaughn 99 jersey pretty cheap that shipped from the Phillipines. He took the letters and numbers off and had “Hall 27” put on it. It’s a pretty safe bet he’s the only guy you will ever see at the ballpark with a personalized Mel Hall jersey.

by PatBordersHelmet on Nov 26, 2008 9:00 AM EST up reply actions

That’s pretty unique, but not nearly as obscure as a Tadano jersey.

Helium Watch: Chuck Lofgren, OF

by jhon on Nov 26, 2008 9:39 AM EST up reply actions

I know someone who has a Rodney Choy Foo jersey.

I once considered a Panther one.

Steel Nick

by nickjs21 on Nov 26, 2008 10:04 AM EST up reply actions

Rodney Choy Foo! I’m very disappointed he’s out of baseball.

Was it an Aeros jersey? K-Tribe?

by PatBordersHelmet on Nov 26, 2008 11:13 AM EST up reply actions

IIRC it was a personalized Tribe jersey.

Steel Nick

by nickjs21 on Nov 26, 2008 11:15 AM EST up reply actions

What no Mayes Hayes, Eddie Harris or Lou Brown?

I always thought if you were going to pick a Major League guy, it would be the obscure characters like Duke Temple (Yeager as coach) or Larson (#20) or Pearson. That way they could blend in with the obcure 70s players like Brohamer.

by talonk on Nov 26, 2008 10:23 AM EST up reply actions

I have a pretty sweet Charboneau jersey and a late 80s road Jacoby. My dream is a Juan Eichelberger jersey, but I don’t think I could wear a size big enough to fit all the letters.

by PatBordersHelmet on Nov 26, 2008 11:11 AM EST up reply actions

I love belonging to a community where the phrase “road Jacoby” doesn’t need translation.

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Nov 26, 2008 3:18 PM EST up reply actions

I’m thinking I need to concoct a slogan out of this …

by Jay on Nov 27, 2008 1:41 AM EST up reply actions

Let’s Go Tribe! – As satisfying as a Road Jacoby

by Brick. on Nov 27, 2008 1:02 PM EST up reply actions

Not better?

Better than a game-worn road Jacoby

by Jay on Nov 28, 2008 1:23 AM EST up reply actions

LGT – where road Jacoby needs no translation!

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Nov 28, 2008 6:14 PM EST up reply actions

Let’s Go Tribe! – We don’t crash when we get a Road Jacoby.

by Brick. on Nov 28, 2008 9:10 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs

I tried to rec this 100 times.

by NickFantana on Dec 1, 2008 1:55 PM EST up reply actions

Thanks for the advice, fellas. It’s craiglisted for 200 OBO. Maybe some poor sucker will pull the trigger.

If any of y’all want it for, say, 143, I’ll send it to you forthwith.

(The fact that I’m a 1L taking a Contracts course and yet failed to read MLB’s purchase agreement is so ironic that I’m willing to take the $112.98 hit just so I don’t have to see this Authentic Road Alternate Symbol of Shame in my closet every morning.)

I'll regress to my career numbers if you do too!

by Fire Slider on Nov 27, 2008 10:46 PM EST reply actions

oh, sorry… the best I can do is 142.

143? What kinda number is that?

Travis Hafner is overrated. Clarity is underrated. David Dellucci is David Dellucci.

by westbrook on Nov 28, 2008 1:20 AM EST up reply actions

That would be my September and October electricity bill.

I'll regress to my career numbers if you do too!

by Fire Slider on Nov 28, 2008 9:36 AM EST up reply actions

Interestingly, your better bet with respect to form contracts with pages and pages of boilerplate, at least in small transactions, is simply to ignore the fine print. “Nobody reads that crap” can be a better defense than “I looked it over and disregarded it,” particularly for a so-called sophisticated party, which you’re about to be if you’re not already.

Probably you shouldn’t use that on your final.

by fleerdon on Nov 28, 2008 9:56 AM EST up reply actions