Did you know...?

by InfiniteMonkeyTypists on Apr 15, 2008 11:15 AM EDT

Did you know...

... that the pnuematic-powered android that replaced the human known as "Eric Wedge" is imprevious to blunt force, acid, fire, and self-doubt due to the advanced design and metallic exo-skeleton created by the team of scientists who devised the Pneumatic Man and swapped it in for "Wedge" in June of 1993 when the inferior human precursor was undergoing elbow surgery?

... that those same scientists were unable to fashion punchcards that would enable Wedge 2.0 to feel human emotion? It took the beard and tender heart of Casey Blake to teach the android how to feel "love" and "mild irritability", though he was unsuccessful with the emotions of "fear" and "shame".

... that the name "Borowski" appears as an image of a clenched fist with the third digit upraised when programmed into the punchcards that Wedge 2.0 processes to manage a baseball game?

IT IS TRUE.

... that since his life was saved by Richard Gere on the set of Karate Kid IV, Jason Michaels has become a devout Buddhist, vowing never again to strike a baseball in anger?

... that the spawn of Joe Borowski dine on naught but bile and drink naught but the bitter tears of the righteous?

HAS YOUR KNOWLEDGE BEEN ENHANCED?

... that the anagram of Peralta, "Trap Ale", refers to the magniificent ale brewed by the Trappist monks of Belgium? These monks drew their inspiration from St. Peralta, an ancestor of Jhonny who drove the ocelots out of Belgium and the Low Countries?

... that one anagram of "Jhonny" is "Johnny"?

THESE ARE UNDENIABLE FACTS!!!

(tip o' the hat to John Hodgman)

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Comments

Anagram for Andy Marte: Yard Meant

Free Andy Marte!

Pronk Needs You

by woodsmeister on Apr 15, 2008 11:30 AM EDT reply actions

Hmm, perhaps this suggests an explanation of Blake’s favor in Wedge’s eyes, and his continued playing time: Casey Blake – Base Lackey?

by InfiniteMonkeyTypists on Apr 15, 2008 12:48 PM EDT up reply actions

Well, thanks for stealing 10 minutes of my life, jerk. I also liked A Slack Be Ye. And we have Fun Tacos Aroma, Lady Burp (or perhaps better: Play Drub), Angry Okra, Dream Size Orgy, and Nick Welgarz.

by dgcambridge on Apr 15, 2008 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions

Did you know that Nick Weglarz is so powerful that the letters of his name, no matter how rearranged, will spell… “Nick Weglarz”!!!

Travis Hafner – Fresh Variant

by InfiniteMonkeyTypists on Apr 15, 2008 2:20 PM EDT up reply actions

how about: Damn Teary ?

. . . Randy Mate ?

. . . Dreamy Tan ?

by DocNo on Apr 15, 2008 12:19 PM EDT reply actions

I like Marte. But, it could also be Trendy Man!!

by peter m on Apr 15, 2008 2:08 PM EDT up reply actions

Too many “n” s.

Free Andy Marte!

Pronk Needs You

by woodsmeister on Apr 15, 2008 2:13 PM EDT up reply actions

Rats. My bad.

by peter m on Apr 15, 2008 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions

I really like Randy Mate

Burn on, big river, burn on...

by Turkmenbashi on Apr 15, 2008 3:24 PM EDT up reply actions

I’m fond of Ardent Yam.

by Hannibal Hamlin on Apr 16, 2008 10:31 PM EDT up reply actions

Awesome

Burn on, big river, burn on...

by Turkmenbashi on Apr 15, 2008 1:32 PM EDT reply actions

Grady Sizemore = Dream Size Orgy

You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person

by jakesinger777 on Apr 16, 2008 1:47 AM EDT reply actions

Ryan Garko = A Rank Orgy

by Stinky McDingus on Apr 16, 2008 6:33 PM EDT up reply actions

Adam Miller = I’m All Dream

by Stinky McDingus on Apr 16, 2008 6:35 PM EDT up reply actions

I’m both intrigued and appalled.

Disclaimer: this post doesn't mean what you think it means.

by AngG on Apr 16, 2008 8:41 PM EDT up reply actions

Carsten Charles Sabathia = Heart Stress Bacchanalia

Is that a fair characterisation?

by Hannibal Hamlin on Apr 16, 2008 9:49 PM EDT reply actions

yep

Sizemore-Shapiro 2008. The Official Red Bull of Let's Go Tribe Game Threads.

by Gradyforpresident on Apr 16, 2008 11:03 PM EDT up reply actions

Damn, you’re good at this.

by jhon on Apr 17, 2008 12:28 PM EDT up reply actions

He’s just getting started.

by Voltaire on Apr 17, 2008 12:36 PM EDT up reply actions

Brodzoski (The Close) = Heck (Robotized Loss)

The more usual term is “automated.”

by Hannibal Hamlin on Apr 16, 2008 10:43 PM EDT reply actions

Ding!

by Voltaire on Apr 17, 2008 12:35 PM EDT up reply actions

If someone could clean up the lolcat syntax while keeping the anagram:

Carsten Charles Sabathia = Tha lsr A’s can has Tribe ace

lsr is supposed to stand for “loser,” but I don’t think that’s playing entirely fair with the concept of anagramming.

by Hannibal Hamlin on Apr 17, 2008 5:44 PM EDT reply actions

This is worth repeating.

by Voltaire on Apr 18, 2008 1:44 AM EDT up reply actions

Jamey Carroll = Clearly Major, or, alternatively, Cello Jar Army

by Hannibal Hamlin on Apr 17, 2008 10:44 PM EDT reply actions

Apparently I enjoy this more than anyone else in the world, but:

Travis Hafner = Sint Haarverf

Which means “Saint Hair-dye” in Dutch. I wish that was somehow relevant to him. But at least it’s Dutch.

by Hannibal Hamlin on Apr 17, 2008 11:27 PM EDT reply actions

Fausto Carmona = A Famous Contra

Cram Fasano Out

Burn on, big river, burn on...

by Turkmenbashi on Apr 18, 2008 2:44 PM EDT reply actions

Fasano ram Cout [langus] ?

by jhon on Apr 19, 2008 8:24 PM EDT up reply actions

And here is your 2008 Anagramed Tribe (thanks to wordsmith.org)

Last Names Only:
Hafner – nothing good came up
Grady – Semi Zero
JM – Mescal Hi
Gutz – nothing good came up
Dellucci – Iced Cull
Jhonny – Later Pa, Teal Rap
Marte – Tar Me
Garko – Go Ark
Carroll – Roll Car, Arc Roll
Droob – Bra Race
Casey – Bleak (apropos?)
Shoppach – Posh Chap
Vic – nothing good came up
Jake – Stroke Brow, Bow Stroke
CC – Aha Baits
Cliff – Eel
Fausto – Can Roam, Car Moan
Byrd – nothing good came up
RaffyB – Utter Bacon
RaffyL – nothing good came up
Mastny – My Ants
Jensen – nothing good came up
Julio – nothing good came up
Masa – A Shakey Bio
Breslow – Bowlers, Blowers

First and Last Names :

Hafner – Fresh Vain Art
Grady – Army Sized Ogre
JM – Emails Can Josh
Gutz – nothing good came up
Dellucci – Clad Civil Dude
Jhonny – Planetary John (Jhon?), Penal Jay North
Marte – Tamed Yarn, Darn Meaty, Damn Teary
Garko – Angry Okra
Carroll – Racey Arm Jello
Droob – Blue Scarab Radar
Casey – Yes Lab Cake
Shoppach – Happy Loch Elks
Vic – Czar Inter Vomit
Jake – Worst Bake Joke
CC – Casaba Itch
Cliff – Cell Fife, File Clef
Fausto – Fun Coast Aroma
Byrd – Play Drub, Lady Burp, Lardy Pub
RaffyB – nothing good came up
RaffyL – Reefer Plaza, La Fez Reaper
Mastny – Natty Moms
Jensen – Nine Jewels
Julio – Jig Or Joule
Masa – nothing good came up
Breslow – Bare Cowgirls