Game Thread: May 21, 2008 - 7th inning
by Jay on May 21, 2008 9:48 PM EDT
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PrintCleveland Indians at Chicago White Sox, Apr 4, 2007 2:05 PM EDT
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Wedge is just nodding to himself on the bench. F JP
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:04 PM EDT reply actions
My goal is to see 150 movies this year. I’m at 85 right now, which using non-scientific calculations, puts me on pace to crush that goal.
It’s about fucking time Manny M. put a hex on this team. On the verge of five straight since he last played.
When Manny plays: 9-3
When he doesn’t: 13-21
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:08 PM EDT reply actions
I have already said “Fuck Baseball. Forever”
What will it do to me while I sleep?
I tried to make Paul Reuschel my Avatar, but he didn't fit into the box.
Remember when I posted that Julio has been effective. I was lying.
I tried to make Paul Reuschel my Avatar, but he didn't fit into the box.
It’s more the content of the time machines I was criticizing. Relax.
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:11 PM EDT up reply actions
I prefer “Strung Out Stranger in Someone Else’s House”
I tried to make Paul Reuschel my Avatar, but he didn't fit into the box.
By the way, guys, thanks a longtime lurker, most of you are 2 or at most 3 degrees of separation from Iron Man.
Sorry, no. Harry Lockhart in ‘Kiss Kiss Bang Bang’. He was great in a movie that was one of the most fun movies I’ve ever watched.
by Fundamentals on May 21, 2008 10:14 PM EDT up reply actions
You know something? Losing 7-2 somehow feels more respectable and less aggravating than losing, like, 2-1.
There’s a window wherein that’s not creepy. I don’t know about Julie, but I think I’m starting to hit the high end of that window.
Disclaimer: this post doesn't mean what you think it means.
Hey. I’m almost 25. That’s like. A quarter century.
Disclaimer: this post doesn't mean what you think it means.
Yeah, it’s not creepy until you’re at least 40. Until then, it’s more like, “Hey, a female wants to have sex with me!”
whoa whoa whoa there….40, its not the 50’s anymore man, sexual revolution, more like a cut off around 52
Okay, hans, calm down, I’m sure Weglarz will be happy to sleep with a middle-aged guy like you.
by Jay on May 21, 2008 10:27 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
He’d burn your house down afterwords…. force of habit.
by gte619n on May 21, 2008 10:28 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I just scrolled back to look at his picture … that poor kid has no idea what we’ve got lined up for him.
by Jay on May 21, 2008 10:31 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Nobody tell him. It’s gonna be a surprise.
Disclaimer: this post doesn't mean what you think it means.
this post made me giggle my fucking head off
by Gradyforpresident on May 22, 2008 12:23 AM EDT up reply actions
Hey gang – we got our 4 hits tonight!
I tried to make Paul Reuschel my Avatar, but he didn't fit into the box.
Thome: Good low fastball hitter.
Breslow: Has never read the book on Thome, apparently
I tried to make Paul Reuschel my Avatar, but he didn't fit into the box.
I should really spend the entire studying. The Indians are on the verge of freeing up a lot of time for me.
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:19 PM EDT reply actions
i’m wondering whether i should make my gf get a LGT account
by Gradyforpresident on May 22, 2008 12:24 AM EDT up reply actions
How does she feel about baseball? Do I have to bring a cupcake for her too?
Disclaimer: this post doesn't mean what you think it means.
she is trying to get into it for me
by Gradyforpresident on May 22, 2008 12:27 AM EDT up reply actions
Hmm. On one hand, I think everyone should be shown how awesome this place is. On the other hand, she might not dig it that much. On the gripping hand, talking to people about things sometimes makes me like them more than I would otherwise.
Disclaimer: this post doesn't mean what you think it means.
So I think the answer to “how to stab yourself to death” is “get your significant other to do it.”
That seems like work.
Disclaimer: this post doesn't mean what you think it means.
Hey, Mario … the wife has a suggestion for you. She thinks you should start referring to Marte as “Mandy” rather than Andy or Manny. And that way, you can sing “Mandy” to yourself when you’re feeling sad.
Haha this is quality advice…that I will take.
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:23 PM EDT up reply actions
wedge was almost mad enough to take his hands out of his pockets.
by rog on May 21, 2008 10:25 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Don’t lie.
Disclaimer: this post doesn't mean what you think it means.
by AngG on May 21, 2008 10:25 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
By this time, Downey’s laughing so hard, he can barely catch his breath.“Dude, I don’t mean to be too basal, but I always think about, maybe it’ll make my dick seem bigger if they have little hands and they’re wrappin’ ‘em around, but I might also feel like I’m gettin’ a hand job from a fuckin’ mouse, which, worse things could happen, but I’d rather get a hand job from a squid than a mouse. Which is the essence of what I’m trying to say today.”
by afh4 on May 21, 2008 10:25 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
So lets say that a regular lookin’ dude, by some complete and total accident, ends up tricking a total hot girl into marrying him. 10 years later, they’re still togeather, but she somehow got hotter and our regular joe has gained 25 lbs, lost his job and hair.
When Wedge goes out there to argue, he is playing the part of Regular Joe.
Alright guys time to cheer up. From today’s USA Today:
Says Rod Allen, the Tigers’ TV analyst: “People back home are shocked. Everybody in baseball, not just Detroit, thought they would win this division. They’re booing them at the ballpark. Hammering them on the radio. It’s nasty out there.”But, oddly enough, eerily calm inside.
“It’s so relaxed in here,” says Sheffield, who is hitting .189 with two home runs and eight RBI as he struggles with right shoulder pain. “I don’t know if that means that we don’t have a killer instinct or we’re just a real loose team. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
‘Stale and stagnant’ atmosphere
Sheffield looks around the clubhouse. It is two hours before game time against the Arizona Diamondbacks, and video is being shown of Dan Haren, the opposing pitcher.
No one is watching.
Cabrera, who had never faced Haren, is asleep in a chair. Magglio Ordonez has his back turned to the TV and is reading a magazine. A handful are playing cards.
Detroit lost 4-3, with Ordonez getting three of the six hits. The loss provided a snapshot of the year.
Unbelievable. No way we lose the division to that team.
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:31 PM EDT reply actions
“I was always the guy who was like, No heroin, no crack. But it doesn’t matter if ya go ten years without doin’ it. Because on that 3,651st day, it’s yer fuckin’ turn, joker. First time someone took the powder outta the house and accidentally left a rock there—that’s the problem. Hang around the barbershop, yer gonna get a haircut.”
Remember that guy who talked early last year in here about the personality monoculture problem? Like, you need a mixture of personality types in an organization and without a little redass you maybe get a team that just plays flat or tight? I think that guy was on to something. HIRE LEYRITZ
by mrich on May 21, 2008 10:38 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
I really dislike living on the ground floor sometimes. SHINE YOUR HEADLIGHTS IN MY WINDOW HARDER. :(
Uh. And some baseball stuff, I guess.
Disclaimer: this post doesn't mean what you think it means.
Mrs. Tabs and I are going to KC this weekend to visit a friend, but I might undertake a stealth mission to try to steal some real hitters.
KC has to have, like, one of ‘em, right? Alex Gordon perhaps? I know Gordon would have to change positions for us, but maybe he’s open to it.
Butler in the short term, Gordon I think will have a nice career but it will take him another couple years to start really producing in the majors. Other than that, they have jack squat.
I called the dugout and asked for Andy Marte. They said he was on a beer run.
I tried to make Paul Reuschel my Avatar, but he didn't fit into the box.
by emd2k3 on May 21, 2008 10:39 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
A pity atbat tonight won’t do him any good anyways. It’ll just make his won-loss record worse, and I won’t be having any of that.
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:40 PM EDT up reply actions
Wedge: “Andy, go get us some beer.”
Andy: “In this neighborhood? This is the south side, Skip.”
Wedge: “Oh, I know, but I hear it’s improved. Take your time. Oh, and Casey wants a Zima.”
by tabler84 on May 21, 2008 10:41 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
I believe it’s an ego defense called projection.
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:41 PM EDT up reply actions
Actually screw this. The more I think about it, we’re a mix of every ego defense out there.
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:44 PM EDT up reply actions
First blush response: Alan Thicke is in baseball?
by fleerdon on May 21, 2008 10:43 PM EDT up reply actions
If some guy you’ve never seen before approaches you and just randomly man-slaps you right in the face, it’s me… and it’s because you listen to Thicke.
The Growing Pains theme was a solid tune.
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:45 PM EDT up reply actions
Night like tonight I flip around and watch other baseball games. But then I just get depressed when I see other teams scoring in bunches. ..
I saw some scores of other games and was like “You lie. It is not even possible to score that many in one game.” And then I cried a little. On the inside.
Disclaimer: this post doesn't mean what you think it means.
So I’ve started an online adventure BLAWWWG. While they’re reading, I’m stabbing myself in the chest, and spending those precious weekends out of the office.
--
Have to wake up bats!
I’m imagining the latter as a cover of the Simon and Garfunkel song.
Disclaimer: this post doesn't mean what you think it means.
What do Weglarz, Alan Thicke and I all have in common?
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:46 PM EDT reply actions
Winner.
I would’ve also accepted 1) are all lumberjacks, or 2) enjoy maple syrup, or 3) are well endowed.
Nice work.
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:49 PM EDT up reply actions
None of you are good at banging that study chick?
by tabler84 on May 21, 2008 10:48 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
(Verse 1)
It’s like a jungle atmosphere
And we’re two monkeys baby
It’s like we’re on a vine
The way we’re swinging it baby
See, you’re a tiger girl
The way you’re scratching me
I’m a lion
In this jungle I’m a king
Girl, I got you so wet
It’s like a rain forest
Like Jurassic Park
Except I’m your sex-a-saurus baby
You and me hopping
Like two kangaroos
Rattling and moaning
Out here in these woods(b-section 1)
Ooo ooo ooo ooo
Aaa aaa aaa aaa
Those are the sounds I wanna hear
When you’re moaning in my ear
Girl you’re singing to me
Ooo ooo ooo ooo
Aaa aaa aaa aaa
You got me locked up in your cage of ecstasy
And I don’t wanna be free cause it’s(Chorus 1)
Wild like a zoo
And that’s the way I like it baby
Crazy me and you
Making love like we was just two heated animals
Baby come and lay with me in my jungle(Verse 2)
Ooo, I swear I’m about to go
Turn your body around and beat the skins like it’s a bongo
A thousand birds up out the tree
Girl, like a swarm of bees
That is how it’s gonna be
Climaxing you and me
Touch the root of your soul
Let Mother Nature take control
Over us is rain and leaves
So come on girl
Let’s plant these seeds, yeah(b-section 2)
Ooo ooo ooo ooo
Aaa aaa aaa aaa
Baby, those are the sounds I wanna hear
When you’re moaning in my ear
SingingOoo ooo ooo ooo
Aaa aaa aaa aaa
(Oh yeah)
You got me locked up in your cage of ecstasy
And I don’t wanna be free cause it’s(Chorus 2)
Wild like a zoo
And that’s the way I like it baby
Crazy me and you
Making love like we was just two heated animals
Baby won’t you come and lay in my jungle(Bridge)
Ya’ll don’t understand
Like two cheetahs running free
African butterfly to me
You’re my safari fantasy
Girl this is heaven to me
Baby we are like coconut and banana trees
(It’s a tropical)
Tropical chemistry
Like the wild life
I’m doing you baby
(I’m doing you baby)
You’re doing me baby
(You’re doing me baby)
It’s you and me
(It’s you and me)
Going wild(Chorus 3)
Wild like a zoo
And that’s the way (Oh baby) I like it baby
Crazy me and you
Making love like we was just two heated animals
So baby come and lay with me in my jungle(I don’t wanna break free ‘cause this is)
Wild like a zoo
Just the way I like it baby
Crazy me and you
Making love like we was just two heated animals
Girl come and lay with me in my (lay with me) jungle(Girl I like it cause it’s)
Wild like a zoo (Wild like a zoo)
Crazy me and you (Crazy me and you, Yeah)
Heated animals (Heated animals)
Girl come and lay with me in my jungle(Outro)
And the whole jungle goes
Ooo ooo ooo ooo
Aaa aaa aaa aaaOoo ooo ooo ooo
Aaa aaa aaa aaaOoo ooo ooo ooo
Aaa aaa aaa aaaOoo ooo ooo ooo
Aaa aaa aaa aaa
Remember the episode of Growing Pains when Alan Thicke delivers a baby on a 747?
by fleerdon on May 21, 2008 10:48 PM EDT reply actions
Or the one when they throw a party downstairs after they send their youngest daughter to bed, because she complained that they were all having fun after her bedtime? “Pony rides for everyone!”
by fleerdon on May 21, 2008 10:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Remember that episode of Growing Pains where Tyler gets punched in the face cuz he’s being annoying and talking about Growing Pains?
GAWD.
by afh4 on May 21, 2008 10:50 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Don’t show weakness, Andrew. I’m like a prizefighter … of irritating people.
by fleerdon on May 21, 2008 10:52 PM EDT up reply actions
I can see why it would get to you, though, what with it being a show with a script and actors and whatnot.
by fleerdon on May 21, 2008 10:54 PM EDT up reply actions
You do know Picard called Riker “Number One,” yeah? Or are you trying to be clever? It’s so hard to tell sometimes.
by fleerdon on May 21, 2008 10:57 PM EDT up reply actions
I was a Family Ties guy. I think watching both shows caused some sort of cognitive dissonance.
I tried to make Paul Reuschel my Avatar, but he didn't fit into the box.
After I look that up, I’ll agree with you.
by fleerdon on May 21, 2008 10:55 PM EDT up reply actions
Man we suck. We’ve resorted to comparing iTunes penis lengths during game threads.
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:51 PM EDT reply actions
Haha I can’t even think of a response to this.
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:53 PM EDT up reply actions
I just realized that collectively we are like bad sports annoucers … when the game goes south, we blather on about anything and everything that doesn’t really have to do with baseball.
I tried to make Paul Reuschel my Avatar, but he didn't fit into the box.
So I’m going to tomorrow’s game, anybody else going to be there? I sure hope it’s not as depressing as the last two
I want a nice long swinging strikeout to end the game from Gark. C’mon gark give it to me!
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:54 PM EDT reply actions
Great, they won’t even suck when I want them to.
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:54 PM EDT up reply actions
Casey Blake’s average went up again today. FUCK
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 10:56 PM EDT reply actions
We let it slide.
But where’s the obligatory Wedge kiss?
I tried to make Paul Reuschel my Avatar, but he didn't fit into the box.
That’s only when Casey drives away after the game. He rolls the window down, Wedge leans in, kicks one leg up behind him … adorable.
by fleerdon on May 21, 2008 11:00 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Didn’t this picture feature prominently in your first post of the season?
by supermarioelia on May 21, 2008 11:00 PM EDT up reply actions
“Now I’m telling you, that man Peralta was not playing well, no, any Naval Officer worth his salt could tell you, he wasn’t focused, and that’s why I threw him in the brig.”
What if you associate it… with weed? Here, I’ll try it… Stoney Capn JLP says to the Tribe: “Fear not, for soon your corner outfield spots will no longer be manned by weak children, but by triumphant South Koreans and compact-swinging men with names that sound latin american but are, instead, entirely American. And, I see a day soon when the Casey Blake experiment is supplanted by a mighty Marte! The Pronk will return, though only against righties, with Garko DHing against Lefties, and a powerful bat named Aubrey will split with Garko at first. Peralta will focus, and Asdrubal will focus, and together they will employ a powerful Wedge-silencing mantra which will work at the plate as well, unleashing a torrent of opposite field extra-base wonder. Dellucci and Byrd will no longer be, but will continue to be felt in the payroll and PTBNLs. Borowski will return, but only as a bridge to 9th inning dominance known as Atom, after which he will follow Dellucci and Byrd. Wedge will also survive, though only after removing his head from his posterior, or else he will be replaced by player/manager Trot Nixon. The World Series will be ours in good time, Tribesmen (and ladies), and by good time, I’m pretty sure I mean this year. Here come the Indians!
by pdxtribefan on May 21, 2008 11:25 PM EDT up reply actions
wife: “Honey, come watch Top Chef. The Indians are upsetting you too much.”
me: “fine, but if andrew hits google image search on some star trek kick and i miss it, i’m going to be pissed.”
seriously, word for word.
the one with the toy at the tower of london or big ben or whatever the hell trivial pursuit is calling that clock these days is mine. somebody composed that shot. bravo.
i don’t know. but as bad as we suck, and as much as it upsets me, i can still crack jokes and enjoy indians baseball. drunk IS BASEBALL.
FUCK OUTS BULLSHIT
Reading the aftermath of this thread drunk was a trip/. i feel startreky, confused, and like 7 of 9 might be hot if iwas more of a nerd. nevermind, still hot. good talk.
¡Free Chan Perry!
by TheVanillaGorilla on May 22, 2008 1:57 AM EDT reply actions
Well glad I missed that game
One day I'll get over to watch the Tribe play
by new zealand tribe fan on May 22, 2008 5:52 AM EDT reply actions
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