I Demand Hey Jaysie
What, Jay is allowed to have a life outside of doing Paul Hoynes' job for him?
Look, I know it's been three days, but I just saw this, and it's another disaster. Reading that column makes me want to stab myself with a morning star. Jay, I urge you to break it down like Andre 3000.
I mean, the questions he chooses deserve instant derision.
about 3 years ago
tabler84
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I thought Hoynsie did a real good job with this one. It looked accurate enough to me. He handled the Omar question especially well. If I were Hoynes I’d have already setup my email to filter out messages containing the text “Omar”, “Little O”, etc.
I thought the same thing when I read it. This one seemed better than his usual effort.
The best thing probably is to hit [Grady] 2nd -- Jay
You’re patently insane. Did you read his responses to questions 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 9, and 10?
If Jay responds to the same list, you’ll see the difference.
Well sure, but given the usual responses and the fact that Hoynes is writing to a broader (i.e. dumber) audience, this isn’t nearly as bad as usual.
Burn on, big river, burn on...
by Turkmenbashi on Jan 7, 2009 10:01 AM EST up reply actions
I agree. I thought, given the different standards for “politeness” and so forth, his answers were pretty reasonable.
by Logodaedalus on Jan 7, 2009 11:52 AM EST up reply actions
Signing free agents seems like such an easy way to help a struggling organization. Do players not want to play for the Indians organization?
WOW WOW WOW
Travis Hafner is overrated. Clarity is underrated. David Dellucci is David Dellucci.
Well now, some players don’t want to play in Cleveland, and I’m sure we pop up on many a no-trade clause, but that more to do with geography and nothing to do with our organization (which I feel is as good as it gets).
To be fair, Hoynsie does emphatically reject the first sentence.
"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter
by Denver Tribe Fan on Jan 7, 2009 2:19 AM EST up reply actions
Yeah, that was good to see. Someone needs to write a big article in the PD explaining free agency and baseball economics and how to build a team. That would really help to educate the public and maybe we’d stop hearing all this whining about not signing free agents. Too bad there’s nobody at that paper capable of writing such an article.
The best thing probably is to hit [Grady] 2nd -- Jay
I luv that guy! Talk about your prototype hill-billy carnie, that’s the guy! And, hey look! – he’s even selling those vegtable choppers – fantastic! Him and the other annoying shill with the beard – it’s like a 2:00 AM visit from the Ghost of Shlock Past.
Resident LGT beer kinda sewer
The bearded one—Billy Maze I think—has at least been poking fun at himself recently.
I wonder if this stuff actually works. You’d think the world would be filled with nothing but ShamWows and AwesomeAugers and whatnots.
Steel Nick
Of course it works. Like H.L. Mencken said, “nobody ever went broke under estimating the American public.”
Resident LGT beer kinda sewer
The quote book I’m looking at said “………underestimating the taste of the American people.” Here check under “N”. But then again, I’ve seen it your way too. But that’s why I cut the extra noun out.
Boy, that’s a close race to the bottom.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that American taste is worse than American intelligence.
by Jay on Jan 9, 2009 1:49 AM EST up reply actions
if I wasn’t busy watching repeats of friends and sipping PBR I’d probably agree with you
by APV on Jan 9, 2009 9:30 AM EST up reply actions
if I wasn’t busy watching obsessing over repeats of friends and sipping chugging PBR I’d probably agree with you
fixed
by APV on Jan 9, 2009 9:31 AM EST up reply actions
i feel like this is an affront to me
Anti-Ben Fran before it was cool.
by Gradyforpresident on Jan 9, 2009 10:55 AM EST up reply actions
if it is, it is an affront to us (thought I do despise Friends – but I despise myself equally for having watched, I’m pretty sure, the show in its entirety)
friends is much better if you despise it first and then watch it
Anti-Ben Fran before it was cool.
by Gradyforpresident on Jan 9, 2009 2:11 PM EST up reply actions
Did you see the commercial for the ESPN website (I think)? That one was pretty funny. He was making fun of himself and those kind of commercials.
I can’t stand that guy’s voice, how he’s yelling all the time. I always mute the TV when they come on.
The best thing probably is to hit [Grady] 2nd -- Jay
I can’t stand that guy’s voice, how he’s yelling all the time.
HOW DARE YOU BRAD.
Steel Nick
by nickjs21 on Jan 7, 2009 8:14 AM EST up reply actions 2 recs
I was in Ohio for Christmas and saw this. Made me laugh too, I mean how can one man be so legitimately enthusiastic about a shammy…and why the head set?!
Also, as an aside, the snuggies commerical was bizzare too…
by Luis (Tribe Fan in London) on Jan 7, 2009 3:28 AM EST up reply actions
what a stupid product, who would purchase that?
One of these days... bang, zoom, straight to the moon...
by mixmasterasia on Jan 7, 2009 4:07 PM EST up reply actions
I thought about posing this question. But having met jhon, I had a hard time believing and she and he would’ve come from the same gene pool. Crazier things have happened, but it just seemed too unlikely.
-Erik
that looks so comfortable
Anti-Ben Fran before it was cool.
by Gradyforpresident on Jan 7, 2009 2:36 PM EST up reply actions
yeah but it looks so warm too
Anti-Ben Fran before it was cool.
by Gradyforpresident on Jan 7, 2009 3:45 PM EST up reply actions
I can’t wait to see the first person wearing one to an April Tribe game. Beer, meet Snuggie.
Steel Nick
by nickjs21 on Jan 7, 2009 4:09 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Er, not that I would know. But it’s an Imperial guard. They just stand there when the Emperor is around and look hard.
I can’t believe you didn’t know this. What a dork.
Steel Nick
they look so hard, in fact.
i’m going to cut myself off before i embarrass myself.
Anti-Ben Fran before it was cool.
by Gradyforpresident on Jan 7, 2009 4:58 PM EST up reply actions
Darth Wedge. A member of the little known Pansy Siths. They aren’t particularly powerful, but they know how to completely F-up use of a bullpen.
-Erik
The force is not strong with Andy Marte.
by woodsmeister on Jan 10, 2009 11:24 AM EST up reply actions
Darth Jackass. I mean, c’mon. Dude under that red cloak is FAT. He must pitch for the Yankees.
by tabler84 on Jan 7, 2009 6:13 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Well it has one part in there commercial where the whole family wears their snuggies to a soccer game to illustrate how it can keep you warm outdoors too, so you never know!
by Luis (Tribe Fan in London) on Jan 8, 2009 3:49 AM EST up reply actions
That’s the dumbest part of the whole commercial. They look like they’re sitting on bleachers in their backyard watching their family play football (I thought it was football?). Who would wear one of those things to a sporting event? I could see wearing it sitting around the house, but taking it to watch a game? Really??
The best thing probably is to hit [Grady] 2nd -- Jay
Not particularly sure if it was soccer or football…but yeah, I mean, how deluded would you have to be to get the whole family to sit in those in public…your would scar your children for life
by Luis (Tribe Fan in London) on Jan 8, 2009 7:48 AM EST up reply actions
Clearly you haven’t been watching American football. People will dress their toodlers up like professional wrestlers just for the chance to be seen on TV. Talk about psychic trauma!
Haha…I guess I don’t because that sounds truley ridiculous. But then again, I drove past Browns Stadium when they played the Bengals before Xmas and you had to be mad to sit out in that weather…or very drunk!
by Luis (Tribe Fan in London) on Jan 8, 2009 11:32 AM EST up reply actions
i giggled in my head almost the entire time when i saw that ad. what a stupid stupid idea for a product.
Travis Hafner is overrated. Clarity is underrated. David Dellucci is David Dellucci.
For people like me who love infomercials, this is Beethoven’s 5th Symphony, this is The Contest, this is Starry Night, this is the best there has ever been — utterly worthless product based on entirely absurd premise sold by actors who are apparently from outer space. It’s a masterpiece. And I should add that my 7-year-old daughter Elizabeth just came in her and watched the infomercial and said, "I want a Snuggie." I’m beaming. Like father like daughter.
http://joeposnanski.com/JoeBlog/2009/01/07/snuggies/
I never understood why he has that headset…
Burn on, big river, burn on...
by Turkmenbashi on Jan 7, 2009 10:02 AM EST up reply actions
Maybe he also answers the calls when people place orders. To sell such a great product at such a low price, you have to cut back somewhere.
The best thing probably is to hit [Grady] 2nd -- Jay
by Buckeye Brad on Jan 7, 2009 10:56 AM EST up reply actions
I love that thought
Burn on, big river, burn on...
by Turkmenbashi on Jan 7, 2009 11:40 AM EST up reply actions
i had to look this up
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwRISkyV_B8
Travis Hafner is overrated. Clarity is underrated. David Dellucci is David Dellucci.
Not by far. But points for the Manos reference.
by world dictator on Jan 7, 2009 1:31 PM EST up reply actions
Really proud to have no idea what you guys are talking about.
by Jay on Jan 7, 2009 3:20 PM EST up reply actions
It’s a wikipedia article about the movie Manos: The Hands of Fate, which, according to many is the worst movie ever made. It’s pretty thorough.
Isn’t Plan 9 From Outer Space supposed to be the worst?
by Jay on Jan 7, 2009 5:13 PM EST up reply actions
“I thinmk the tribe should go with 4 startes and the rest in the BP. I think by using a 5 man rotation gives the pitcher too much rest and he get rusty. Another I dra if they insist on a 5 man rotation let them start 1 day off the next day and be in BP for 3 and use him 1 or 2 innings and off the day before his start. This way they are kept loose and the other team won’t know what we are doing. Try it Eric or Get out of Town.”
I know there are a lot of gems out there in the cleveland.coms of the world, but that was one of my favorites ever.
Il faut d'abord durer.
The best part being the ending argument:
“Eric, try my radical, reckless, heinously bad idea that no one uses for a very good reason or Get out of Town.”
by Pronktastic on Jan 7, 2009 1:14 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
The appeal of a 4 man rotation is not that they become rusty, it’s that you are taking away starts from an inferior pitcher, the 5th starter. The drawback is the health concerns from both the workload and pitching on, at times, 3 days rest.
As to this guy’s other point, having starting pitchers throw their bullpen sessions in an actual game, didn’t somebody do this recently, not as practice, but as a one time thing?
As to this guy’s other point, having starting pitchers throw their bullpen sessions in an actual game, didn’t somebody do this recently, not as practice, but as a one time thing?
This has happened around the All-Star break and during the playoffs.
We also had a discussion about it some time last year, I think. We were talking about an article in “Baseball Between the Numbers” that suggested going back to 4-man rotations. The details of the article are foggy and I lent my copy of the book to a coworker so I can’t check right now.
The best thing probably is to hit [Grady] 2nd -- Jay
Those were the days. I used to make Fanposts with ideas, ideas backed with links and stuff.
I can’t wait for the season to start. Let’s rec some more sh**.
Steel Nick
by nickjs21 on Jan 7, 2009 4:14 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Whenever I am at cleveland.com and read comments, I am reminded of the classic Steve Martin bit about playing a trick on your three-year old by talking wrong so that on the first day of school he raises his hand and asks, “May I mambo dogface to the banana patch?”
by woodsmeister on Jan 7, 2009 4:30 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
My mom taught me the wrong colors. I went to kindergarten thinking that Sesame Street was all messed up and that yellow was called blue and vice versa. She thought it was hilarious. She’s a pretty weird lady.
Il faut d'abord durer.
by CU Adam on Jan 7, 2009 4:40 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
I think to the extent that users are self-selecting, it does in fact require that test.
by Jay on Jan 8, 2009 3:08 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
“The other team won’t know what we are doing.” That’s valuable, too. No one will know what you are doing.
by odradek on Jan 7, 2009 7:24 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Here is this week’s Hey Hoynsie! question (the only one, in fact). I’m sure Jay can have fun with this one:
Q: Hey, Hoynsie: I’m sure you would agree that pitching, de fense and speed win championships. Given the Indians’ lack of pitching and team speed, why should Indians fans even bother showing up to games this season knowing that we can’t compete with the likes of Boston, New York, [the Angels], Detroit and Minnesota? – Don Manning, Bay Village
The Indians can’t compete with Detroit?? The last place team in the Central in 2008?!?! Even by cleveland.com standards, this one is awful.
The best thing probably is to hit [Grady] 2nd -- Jay
FWIW, here is Hoynes’ answer:
Hey, Don: Let’s check the numbers.
Indians starting pitchers last year had a lower ERA than the Twins, Yankees and Detroit. The Tribe’s ERA overall was lower than Detroit. The defense had a higher fielding percentage and committed fewer errors than AL Central champion Chicago, Minnesota and Detroit. Their .985 fielding percentage tied pennant winner Tampa Bay for fourth place in the American League.
The Indians’ bullpen had the fewest saves and the second highest ERA in the AL. They ranked 12th in the AL with 77 steals. Forty-nine percent of those steals belonged to one player – Grady Sizemore.
Offensively, the Indians had a higher batting average than Tampa Bay. They scored more runs than New York, Tampa Bay and the Angels.
The Indians will tell you that their pitching should be better this year because of the addition of Kerry Wood and Joe Smith to the bullpen. Under GM Mark Shapiro and manager Eric Wedge, the Indians have little regard for the stolen base. It’s not only a reflection of their roster, but an organizational belief that I’ve never agreed with.
Tampa Bay and the Angels, two playoff teams last year, ranked first and second in steals. The world champion Phillies ranked third in the NL in steals.
The best thing probably is to hit [Grady] 2nd -- Jay
by Buckeye Brad on Jan 11, 2009 5:06 PM EST up reply actions
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