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The Indians are looking for a first baseman, preferably someone who hits right-handed, in case Matt...
The Indians are looking for a first baseman, preferably someone who hits right-handed, in case Matt LaPorta (left hip, left toe) isn't ready for opening day and to offset their numerous left-handed hitters.
— Paul Hoynes, in the latest installment of Ask A Stupid Question. The context was a discussion of Jordan Brown (duh), but if ShapActa are looking for a right-handed hitter who can play 1B, I think I know a guy.
