Adam Miller contra Jason Davis

by odradek on Mar 17, 2009 11:00 PM EDT

Euthyphro: So no doubt you saw in the paper, Socrates, that Adam Miller has re-injured his finger?

Socrates: Old news, lad.

Euthyphro: No, again. If only he could stay healthy.

Socrates: Perhaps we could say: If only he were good.

Euthyphro: But he is good, Socrates. He throws 97—he's the best pitching prospect the Tribe has had since Sonny Siebert!

Socrates: Would you say he is better than Francisco Cabrera?

Euthyphro: Of course. No comparison.

Socrates: Cabrera threw 97 as well, and had great promise that never materialized.

Euthyphro: But Cabrera never could put it all together. He was maddening, for all his inability to harness his talent.

Socrates: And Miller? When has he "put it all together?" In Arizona? Years ago in Winter Haven? He has better control than Cabrera but is less of a pitcher.

Euthyphro: But Socrates ...

Socrates: There is no difference between the profligacy of Miller's talent and the waste of Jason Davis'. Or if there is a difference it is simply one of location. Did we not once have great hopes for Jason Davis? Did we not see in him the future of our bullpen?

Euthyphro: Yes, of course, but he had a chance to throw and was found wanting. Miller never gets to the mound at all.

Socrates: And your point is?

Euthyphro: Well, it's not fair.

Socrates: Life isn't fair, Euthyphro. In terms of results, Miller cannot throw strikes any more than David Aardsma. Therefore, Adam Miller cannot pitch, and therefore he sucks just as much as Jason Davis.

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Wow, it’s not every day you see a FanPost in the form of a Socratic dialogue.

by Ryan on Mar 17, 2009 11:08 PM EDT reply actions

Euthyphro: Socrates, please allow me to amend my characterization of a good pitcher. Since he has not been bad while pitching, as Jason Davis and Fernando Cabrera has amply demonstrated, he cannot be a bad pitcher. For bad pitchers pitch badly, and since Adam Miller hasn’t pitched badly, he cannot be a bad pitcher. And since he therefore is not a bad pitcher, he is not in the same category as Jason Davis and Fernando Cabrera.

Socrates: Well, now, I will have to give this new postulation some thought. I will not deny that Fernando Cabrera is a bad pitcher – my eyes saw Cabrera pitching against the Scythians in the World Funeral Games. But let us examine more closely your assertion that a pitcher who has not pitched badly is not a bad pitcher….

by Ryan on Mar 17, 2009 11:26 PM EDT reply actions 8 recs

Socrates: If the definition of a good pitcher is someone who does not pitch badly, then you may be right. But this is a definition by negation: defining by what it is not. It is like defining an image by its background, or by its shadow. I suggest the positive definition: good pitchers pitch well, and by this measure Adam Miller is not a good pitcher, having not pitched at all.

by odradek on Mar 18, 2009 12:23 AM EDT up reply actions 3 recs

p0wn?

As General Manager of this team, I demand to know when I'm getting a start.

by bigbrabbs on Mar 18, 2009 1:53 PM EDT up reply actions

Socrates pretty much pwned all his adversaries, at least according to Plato. The dialogues were the forerunners of the Harlem Globetrotters vs. Washington Generals.

by Ryan on Mar 18, 2009 2:47 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs

I think he was the founder of professional Graeco-Roman wrestling, where he won every match he ever played.

by odradek on Mar 18, 2009 3:38 PM EDT up reply actions

Socrates takes a beating in the Parmenides, though. Shapiro is always able to get the third man.

by FranklinScott on Mar 18, 2009 5:06 PM EDT up reply actions

by Brick. on Mar 17, 2009 11:30 PM EDT reply actions 6 recs

I think you missed the point.

by afh4 on Mar 17, 2009 11:34 PM EDT up reply actions

i didn’t have the motivation to photoshop in their faces.

by Brick. on Mar 18, 2009 10:11 AM EDT up reply actions

I just think it’s funny to imagine you going “Contra!” and not even reading the rest of the post, just heading straight to google images.

by afh4 on Mar 18, 2009 11:32 AM EDT up reply actions

that’s exactly what i did, except i did read the whole post before i hit up google.

by Brick. on Mar 18, 2009 12:18 PM EDT up reply actions

L R L R U D U D B A B A select start

by APV on Mar 18, 2009 12:06 AM EDT up reply actions 4 recs

yes!

by Brick. on Mar 18, 2009 10:11 AM EDT up reply actions

Is this about chopping off Jason Davis’s finger and attaching it to Adam Miller’s hand?

Ben Francisco's only fan on LGT

by Toxicadam on Mar 17, 2009 11:42 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

SEE! YES!

This is the kind of thinking that we need!

Don't be stupid. PUT IN MELOAN.

by gte619n on Mar 17, 2009 11:43 PM EDT up reply actions

READ THIS SOLOFF!!!

"...leading the league in most offensive categories. Including nose hairs."

by sarcasmdave on Mar 18, 2009 12:57 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs

SECOND!!

"Mixed emotions. Rather see him hit PEDroia [with that pitch]. I don’t care if he is in the dugout"

by Gradysmanldy on Mar 18, 2009 4:32 PM EDT up reply actions

This is a gem.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Mar 18, 2009 12:53 AM EDT reply actions

I remember thinking that Davis could turn out to be more important to the team’s future than Sabathia. A long time ago.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Mar 18, 2009 12:54 AM EDT reply actions

By doing what? Being the one who convinces CC to stop having food and championships handed to him?

Travis Hafner is overrated. Clarity is underrated. David Dellucci is David Dellucci.

by westbrook on Mar 18, 2009 1:13 AM EDT up reply actions

Wait. “Championships.”

Travis Hafner is overrated. Clarity is underrated. David Dellucci is David Dellucci.

by westbrook on Mar 18, 2009 1:13 AM EDT up reply actions

The craziness that is the Indians pitching staff reminds me of a quote from Henry Brooks Adams, “Order is the dream of man while chaos is the law of nature.” So true, so true . . .

by Les Fleurs Du Mal on Mar 18, 2009 1:17 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs