Who killed the Cleveland Indians? - part 4: Bernie Kosar and Lebron James

by APV on Jun 17, 2009 8:44 AM EDT

Lebron_james_1388925c_medium

Back in Tbilisi earlier than expected and might as well take advantage of my unexpected wireless connection to continue the investigation with a little remote location blogging. I have been off the trail for a few weeks, but the last two games have reawakened the scent. You might recall my previous inquiries (John Adams, Slider, Grit). Today's suspect isn't an individual, but a dynamic pair who serve as opposing towers in the Cleveland sports kingdom, Lebron James and Bernie Kosar. What could cause these two Cleveland sports icons to unite their collective skills in an insidious hit-job on our beloved Indians? I look into the case....

Suspect: Lebron James, Bernie Kosar

Suspicious Traits: Tantalizing, but limited success in the Cleveland sports arena. Yankees hat (Lebron)!? Connection to South Florida sports world (Kosar). And as to their connection, has has anyone ever seen a photo of these two together?

Weapon of Choice: Wobbly low-angled passes, powerfully quick charges to the basket, and hypnotic control of Cleveland sports base

Potential Alibi: None identified

Motive: Classic jealousy and quest for power. On one hand you have Bernie's late '80s dominance of the Cleveland sports scene, and on the other Lebron's current dominance of the 21st century. In the middle, the proud Cleveland Indians of '94-'01. Lebron clearly feels his playoff runs are being squelched not by a lack of complementary parts or poor coaching, but a weaning of fan support in the brutally extended NBA playoff schedule of May and June (what happened to that home court dominance?). Meanwhile, Bernie's attempts to negotiate his way into a position of power in the Browns organization by engaging in highly amusing, heavily slurred appearances in the broadcast booth during Browns preseason games is undermined by renewed interest in second half Tribe season comebacks. These two independent problems have brought together this duo for a common solution - kill the Tribe's season early and decisively.

Likelihood: Twice as likely

Up Next: Midges

Art_clev_kosar_medium

Tweet Comment 12 comments | 2 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

Too soon.

(And I’m referring to The Drive, The Fumble, and The Otherworldy-Hot-Shooting Magic.)

by JulioBernazard on Jun 17, 2009 10:22 AM EDT reply actions

Can we just agree to call it The Rashard?

by NickFantana on Jun 17, 2009 12:41 PM EDT up reply actions

Turkoglu + Rashard = Tard

by APV on Jun 17, 2009 12:42 PM EDT up reply actions

I like it.

by Buckeye Brad on Jun 17, 2009 4:02 PM EDT up reply actions

This is my favorite one so far.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jun 17, 2009 10:44 AM EDT reply actions

(what happened to that home court dominance?)

well, they were 45-3 at home (including the playoffs), and only lost one at home in the post-season. so…nothing?

/still very bitter

by DontCallMeJoey on Jun 17, 2009 12:49 PM EDT reply actions

Seriously

Ride on ye fearsome Horsemen of the Basketball Apocalypse. We got this.

by Turkmenbashi on Jun 17, 2009 3:04 PM EDT up reply actions

Great point.

by JulioBernazard on Jun 17, 2009 4:35 PM EDT up reply actions

Say it ain’t so, Bernie!

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jun 17, 2009 4:02 PM EDT reply actions

Potential alibi: “Deal with it.”

by fleerdon on Jun 17, 2009 4:07 PM EDT reply actions

It’s clear now that Bernie did it for money.

by NickFantana on Jun 19, 2009 5:29 PM EDT reply actions

midges

Don’t even suspect the midges…they mess joba chamberlain up!!! and as much as i hate them, don’t blame the sea gulls either. Both have helped us win games…all the tribe needs now is a flock of geese to land in the field and people will start thinking the metropark zoo moved next door to progressive field.

by Vampiric Goddess on Jun 19, 2009 10:22 PM EDT reply actions