Forget all this trade talk. There are more pressing issues.

by nickjs21 on Jul 30, 2009 2:04 PM EDT

Namely, Toxicadam's new avatar. For those who don't already know, Adam was convinced neither Lee nor Martinez would be traded. So now I get to assign him a new avatar. It has to stay there until the first pitch of Opening Day 2010. I took my list from last night's thread and added the suggestions that seem to have gotten the best response, or simply ones I liked. The window for suggestions has closed. I'll have a poll at the end for voting.

Remember, the goal is to embarrass our good friend. I cut out the pink Sox hat and the Team Edward pic, both of which I loved, because a) the pink hat could be seen as making fun of the Sox, and b) I didn't want to split the Twilight votes.

Poll

Which avatar?

Clay Aiken

10 votes

Roger Clemens

6 votes

Corey Haim (the mullet)

10 votes

Derek Jeter

14 votes

Ginormous douche

40 votes

Mariah Carey in Glitter

22 votes

Michael Bolton

17 votes

Nicolas Cage

7 votes

Pete Wentz (the eyeliner guy)

14 votes

Red Sox celebrating 2007 ALCS

4 votes

Twilight

4 votes

Evony ad

7 votes

155 votes | Poll has closed

Tweet Comment 98 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

I’m so glad this is happening right now. I may care more about the outcome of this than the trade of Martinez.

by NickFantana on Jul 30, 2009 2:25 PM EDT reply actions

The Nic Cage is pic is priceless, had to go with that one.

by mrich on Jul 30, 2009 2:33 PM EDT reply actions

Eyeliner guy, but with Bolton as a close second.

by Logodaedalus on Jul 30, 2009 2:39 PM EDT reply actions

I feel like that scene in the movie Old School, where the girls had to do “the walk of shame”.

by Toxicadam on Jul 30, 2009 2:39 PM EDT reply actions

I went with “ginormous douche” because I don’t want to look at Jeter.

"You are an LGT success story" -- Jay

by Turkmenbashi on Jul 30, 2009 2:48 PM EDT reply actions

This is the most difficult decision I’ve made in a very long time.

by AngG on Jul 30, 2009 2:52 PM EDT reply actions

I’d like to know who Shapiro’s voting for, since he’s using much more information in making his decision than I am.

You are reading my signature.

by rolub on Jul 30, 2009 2:55 PM EDT reply actions 13 recs

green

by Logodaedalus on Jul 30, 2009 3:14 PM EDT up reply actions

Nah, this is one of those “gut” decisions, even for Shapiro.

by JimmyAB on Jul 31, 2009 12:55 PM EDT up reply actions

Not true. That you haven’t heard of AvatarVision doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

by FredOx on Jul 31, 2009 1:03 PM EDT up reply actions

Going with Nicholas Cage. Love that picture.

by JP_Frost on Jul 30, 2009 2:55 PM EDT reply actions

But having a huge mustache is something to be celebrated! Having a picture of a dude with a crap-eating grin, sporting a fat ’stache is a status symbol – not degrading at all!

by joeee on Jul 30, 2009 10:59 PM EDT up reply actions

Apropos of nothing, John Hodgman’s Six Essentials to Being a Professional Writer:

1. empathy
2. the willingness to endure solitude
3. the belief that the world cares about what you have to say
4. the ability to describe facial hair accurately
5. a large desk in a quiet room of your own in which to chase your demons (preferably a circular room, so that the demons have no place to hide)
6. special stationery with pictures of typewriters and/or quills on top

by FredOx on Jul 31, 2009 9:20 AM EDT up reply actions

gotta be wentz. all the others could be taken as ironic.

by emil minty on Jul 30, 2009 2:59 PM EDT reply actions

There is a fine line, yes.

Steel Nick

by nickjs21 on Jul 30, 2009 3:08 PM EDT up reply actions

Exactly why I voted for Jeter. I felt that would be the best combination of painful and hard to brush off as ironic.

by danvail on Jul 30, 2009 3:59 PM EDT up reply actions

“Ginormous Douche,” just seems so…. right

by gte619n on Jul 30, 2009 3:02 PM EDT reply actions

There’s no wrong answer, but I voted for Glitter, since it clashes the most with Adam’s username. It’s like being made to ride a pink bicycle.

by jhon on Jul 30, 2009 3:03 PM EDT reply actions

I’ll probably let this go at least until after the deadline. Depends on how close it is.

Steel Nick

by nickjs21 on Jul 30, 2009 3:09 PM EDT reply actions

What’s Mr. Ginormous Douche’s WHIP?

by FredOx on Jul 30, 2009 3:10 PM EDT reply actions

As of today it is 1.40

by Bernie19Kosar on Jul 30, 2009 4:11 PM EDT up reply actions 10 recs

is ginormous douche a character on growing up gotti?

by emil minty on Jul 30, 2009 3:13 PM EDT reply actions

lisa: “i know all those words, but that sign makes no sense.”

by emil minty on Jul 30, 2009 3:14 PM EDT up reply actions

It’s like choosing your favorite child

by Roger Dorn on Jul 30, 2009 3:37 PM EDT reply actions

You are my third least favorite child.

by AngG on Jul 30, 2009 3:54 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

Pretty close vote too, indicates you picked some good ones

by Roger Dorn on Jul 30, 2009 3:38 PM EDT reply actions

I voted for Glitter, because bright pink Mariah is certainly distinctive. The tininess of the Avatars often makes it hard to tell what is what. For instance, I often assume that Turk’s avatar is Jay Mariotti, and as such I hate him.

by Chemo on Jul 30, 2009 3:51 PM EDT reply actions

A good point. The pictures in avatar size:

Clayaiken_medium Clemens_medium Coreyhaim_medium Derekjeter_medium Douchez_medium Mariahcareyglitter_medium Michaelbolton_medium Nicolascage_medium Petewentz_medium Redsox_medium Twilightd_medium Evony_medium

by FredOx on Jul 30, 2009 4:10 PM EDT up reply actions

This makes me want to re-cast. Can I change my vote to Glitter? I had originally voted for Clay Aiken which is indistinguishable in small size

by Roger Dorn on Jul 30, 2009 4:13 PM EDT up reply actions

Yeah, he sort of looks like Martin Short.

by Logodaedalus on Jul 30, 2009 4:21 PM EDT up reply actions

Should one of them be more insulted than the other?

by danvail on Jul 30, 2009 5:30 PM EDT up reply actions

I got nothin against Martin Short…

by Logodaedalus on Jul 30, 2009 6:13 PM EDT up reply actions

My top two — Eyeliner and Bolton — seem to hold up pretty well to de-embiggenning

by Logodaedalus on Jul 30, 2009 4:22 PM EDT up reply actions

Vote change! Jeter

Stuart Dean

by stuart dean on Jul 30, 2009 4:46 PM EDT up reply actions

Ozzie, is that you?

by MTF on Jul 30, 2009 4:12 PM EDT up reply actions

THIS ISN’T JAY MARIOTTI?!

"You are an LGT success story" -- Jay

by Turkmenbashi on Jul 30, 2009 4:20 PM EDT up reply actions

by FredOx on Jul 30, 2009 4:22 PM EDT up reply actions

On second thought, I don’t see the resemblance…

"You are an LGT success story" -- Jay

by Turkmenbashi on Jul 30, 2009 4:40 PM EDT up reply actions

I just noticed the chinstrap on Ginormous Douche. That thing is flawless. I feel like it wouldn’t get its proper recognition in avatar form. That small, it looks like it could just as well be Ben Wallace.

"You are an LGT success story" -- Jay

by Turkmenbashi on Jul 30, 2009 4:17 PM EDT reply actions

Needs the curves/levels adjusted in photoshop to be more ‘legible’ in avatar size.

"Some days are better than others, but it's a long season."

— The Inestimable Eric Wedge

by emd2k3 on Jul 30, 2009 10:27 PM EDT up reply actions

there needs to be a runoff vote between the top three.

by BrianRose on Jul 30, 2009 4:23 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

I could get behind this

by Roger Dorn on Jul 30, 2009 5:25 PM EDT up reply actions

The one I posted is winning. I’m so proud. My ginormous douche is on his way to being an all grown up douchey avatar.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 30, 2009 7:33 PM EDT reply actions

The one I posted is winning. I’m so proud. My ~~ginormous douche~~ boyfriend is on his way to being an all grown up douchey avatar.

"sometimes the internet is hard for me." - ClemsonGirl

by world dictator on Jul 30, 2009 7:53 PM EDT up reply actions

haha Funny. Seriously what would all of you think if this was my boyfriend? I asked my mom and she looked at me like I was nuts.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 30, 2009 8:01 PM EDT up reply actions

BANNED

by Buckeye Brad on Jul 30, 2009 8:52 PM EDT up reply actions

I’d say he could do better

"sometimes the internet is hard for me." - ClemsonGirl

by world dictator on Jul 30, 2009 9:46 PM EDT up reply actions

Why do you hate me so? It hurts me in my heart WD. Somehow I’ll survive.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 31, 2009 1:15 AM EDT up reply actions

Can I nominate this one:

"sometimes the internet is hard for me." - ClemsonGirl

by world dictator on Jul 30, 2009 7:51 PM EDT reply actions

“Y’know, I’m just happy to be here and hope I can help the ballclub. I just want to give it my best shot and good Lord willing, things’ll work out. You gotta play ‘em one day at a time, y’know.”

--
Force quit and move to trash.

by vbc3 on Jul 31, 2009 1:01 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

CLIFTON3000: "Y’know, I’m just happy to be here and hope I can help the ballclub. I just want to give it my best shot and good Lord willing, things’ll work out. You gotta play ‘em one day at a time, y’know."

Fixed.

"Some days are better than others, but it's a long season."

— The Inestimable Eric Wedge

by emd2k3 on Jul 31, 2009 9:59 AM EDT up reply actions

Considering the origins of the quote, it should be a much earlier version of the Clifton.

Steel Nick

by nickjs21 on Jul 31, 2009 10:55 AM EDT up reply actions

Man, he looks like a dork.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 31, 2009 12:46 PM EDT up reply actions

Sadly, this.

--
Force quit and move to trash.

by vbc3 on Jul 31, 2009 12:48 PM EDT up reply actions

The blue jerseys are not good.

by Logodaedalus on Jul 31, 2009 1:10 PM EDT up reply actions

same thought.

it’s the tucked in shirt and the pulled up pants, I think.

This is Victor's home. Victor Jose, you too.

by westbrook on Jul 31, 2009 8:57 PM EDT up reply actions

VOTE TWILIGHT fools

it is, bar none, the most embarrassing thing you could have as an avatar (unless you are a 12 year old girl)

by Cap'n Snegiryov on Jul 30, 2009 8:07 PM EDT reply actions

Do you think ginormous douche knows he is a ginormous douche on LGT.com?

by Wil Cantrell on Jul 30, 2009 8:19 PM EDT up reply actions

He probably can’t read.

by Brad D on Jul 30, 2009 8:43 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs

legitimate almost LOL

by Wil Cantrell on Jul 30, 2009 9:15 PM EDT up reply actions

It would be awesome. I am big into the Twillight Cosplay Convention circuit.

by Toxicadam on Jul 30, 2009 9:17 PM EDT up reply actions

Twlight is kind of hard to see in avatar format

"sometimes the internet is hard for me." - ClemsonGirl

by world dictator on Jul 30, 2009 9:46 PM EDT up reply actions

I think they’re pale enough.

Steel Nick

by nickjs21 on Jul 30, 2009 10:10 PM EDT up reply actions

I’ll probably re-do the poll sometime tomorrow with the leaders.

Steel Nick

by nickjs21 on Jul 30, 2009 10:10 PM EDT reply actions

I really thought it would come down to Wenz, the Douche, Twilight, and Jeter. Did not expect such a strong showing from Mariah.

If we could get another 300 votes and challenge the “breakout season” poll…

Steel Nick

by nickjs21 on Jul 30, 2009 10:12 PM EDT reply actions

Mariah’s too old to really have a breakout season. Plus, isn’t she in the NL West?

by FredOx on Jul 30, 2009 10:38 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

I voted for Wentz because he *thinks that he is representing a legitimate manifestation of man-hood. The reality, of course, is that he (literally) violates every man law in the book (I’m serious – think of a man-code that he is not breaking all the time), even more than the Ginormous Douche, who at least thinks emotions are stupid. Wentz, however, believes he is somehow legitimate, and his emotional content is to be taken seriously. The Lee Hottie thing (ginormous douche) is shocking and amazing, but the dude is from New Jersey – at least there is an element of humor in his douchebaggery.

by joeee on Jul 30, 2009 10:50 PM EDT reply actions

You know who these people are?

by Logodaedalus on Jul 31, 2009 3:26 AM EDT up reply actions

Lee Hotti is a marginally well-known internet meme. It all started here, on Sherdog.

by FredOx on Jul 31, 2009 9:29 AM EDT up reply actions

They will remain Eyeliner and Ginormous Douche to me….

by Logodaedalus on Jul 31, 2009 1:10 PM EDT up reply actions

I’m sad that Bolton isn’t winning.

I think folks should consider more, what does having this avatar imply about this person?

The Bolton avatar, while hideous, also lacks irony. It does not appear to be mocking Bolton. It suggests strongly that its user is a Michael Bolton fan, and that this, above all else, is what he wants us to know about him.

Vote Bolton.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 30, 2009 10:57 PM EDT reply actions

Wentz could be devoid of irony. I’m sure there are some Sox fans who actually like Wentz. Fall Out Boy is from Chicago, after all. And nothing is worse than liking Fall Out Boy. Nothing.

by joeee on Jul 30, 2009 11:01 PM EDT up reply actions

Huge numbers of baseball fans have never heard of Fall Out Boy.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 30, 2009 11:56 PM EDT up reply actions

I wish I hadn’t.

by Brad D on Jul 31, 2009 12:11 AM EDT up reply actions

I have heard of Fall Out Boy but not Wenz

by Roger Dorn on Jul 31, 2009 12:43 AM EDT up reply actions

He’s played by Milhouse, right?

by Logodaedalus on Jul 31, 2009 3:27 AM EDT up reply actions

I always for a second think Wentz is one of the Good Charlotte boys. They look the same.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 31, 2009 1:17 AM EDT up reply actions

My favorite thing about Pete Wentz is that all my friends who are into Fall Out Boy and know all this random crap about all the band members etc. etc. still all think Wentz is a douche.

by AngG on Jul 31, 2009 1:51 AM EDT up reply actions

Nah, Good Charlotte guys wear cheap Mary Kay/Avon stuff. Fall Out Boy is more sucessful, so they rock the Revlon.

by Buzz on Jul 31, 2009 1:40 PM EDT up reply actions

nothing is worse than liking Fall Out Boy. Nothing.

Defense rests.

--
Force quit and move to trash.

by vbc3 on Jul 31, 2009 1:13 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

You make a good case. These guys are fat dbags. But is it worse to get good things, like baseball and cigars, wrong? Or to wear eyeliner all the time?

by joeee on Jul 31, 2009 11:22 AM EDT up reply actions

I’m sad that Bolton isn’t winning.

This. C’mon, guys! It’s MICHAEL BOLTON!

--
Force quit and move to trash.

by vbc3 on Jul 31, 2009 1:02 AM EDT up reply actions

Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks.

by gte619n on Jul 31, 2009 9:58 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs

I honestly thought that was Fabio. That completely circumvented the lack of irony.

by danvail on Jul 31, 2009 11:56 AM EDT up reply actions

I finally voted. I went with Wentz. The best part is that if he’s posting on someone else’s forum, the avatar is just colorful and small enough that you almost HAVE to click on his profile to see what the hell he was thinking. And it’s PETE WENTZ, emo teeny bopper.

Steel Nick

by nickjs21 on Jul 31, 2009 3:42 AM EDT reply actions

exactly…Jeter made me feel a little queasy and dirty, but Bolton a downright LOL…so apt, so unmitigated…and second only to Mariah in avatar format.

Douche??!! C’mon folks, reconsider…it’s maybe funny for a second, but does not have the staying power to disturb until opening day.

by DocNo on Jul 31, 2009 6:14 AM EDT reply actions

…that ‘exactly’ was to the MICHAEL BOLTON comment, of course.

by DocNo on Jul 31, 2009 6:17 AM EDT up reply actions

I only voted because I posted it. If you look at my original post though I said it wasn’t real I was just amazed. My favorite is still Team Edward which isn’t here. It shows you’re a true Twilight fan because you have picked a team.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 31, 2009 11:24 AM EDT up reply actions

While true and awesome, that would be lost on the majority. I had absolutely no idea there were teams.

by danvail on Jul 31, 2009 11:57 AM EDT up reply actions

I know a girl with a Team Edward shirt. Most. Embarrassing. Friend. Ever.

Steel Nick

by nickjs21 on Jul 31, 2009 12:10 PM EDT up reply actions

Most people have seen the shirts and other paraphanalia around so they may not know what it means (like me) but they know it means you’re unhealthily obsessed.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 31, 2009 12:44 PM EDT up reply actions

Why is there no Sabathia in a Yankee hat avatar?

"You are an LGT success story" -- Jay

by Turkmenbashi on Jul 31, 2009 7:23 AM EDT reply actions

I honestly thought ginormous douche was referring to Clemens

by Roger Dorn on Jul 31, 2009 8:41 AM EDT reply actions

It isn’t? Oh, we’ve just got that all wrong.

-Erik

by drerikbrady on Jul 31, 2009 9:47 AM EDT up reply actions

I went Mariah in Glitter, because … IT’S MARIAH IN GLITTER PEOPLE!

"Some days are better than others, but it's a long season."

— The Inestimable Eric Wedge

by emd2k3 on Jul 31, 2009 10:04 AM EDT reply actions

My problem with Ginormous Douche is that it can be construed by someone who doesn’t know as mocking someone like a Yankees fan. In this case, it is not all that embarrassing. Even if one were to have Mariah Carey as their avatar, it would still be completely humiliating if it was meant in jest.

by Roger Dorn on Jul 31, 2009 11:03 AM EDT reply actions

Yeah that’s why I didn’t know if it was a good avatar nomination but I looked up douchbag in google images and that showed up and I felt the need to share.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 31, 2009 11:25 AM EDT up reply actions