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Around SBN: Indy 500: 'Greatest Spectacle In Racing' Set For Sunday

Game Thread: July 4, 2009

Oakland Athletics at Cleveland Indians, Jul 4, 2009 7:05 PM EDT



Independence Day

Oakland at Cleveland, 7:05 PM

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I’m waving imaginary Choo-branded sparklers.

by Julie on Jul 4, 2009 6:48 PM EDT reply actions  

I’m glad we’re friends. Well, internet friends.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:03 PM EDT up reply actions  

I hope we’re still internet friends when I finish knitting your magic helmet… in 2058.

by Julie on Jul 4, 2009 7:06 PM EDT up reply actions  

By that time it won’t be hip, it will just be expected.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:07 PM EDT up reply actions  

I’ll love it either way.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:12 PM EDT up reply actions  

Has there ever been a game thread with only one person in it? I feel very leprous.

by Julie on Jul 4, 2009 6:59 PM EDT reply actions  

You’re not alone, though I’m not here for long.

But I’m glad you’re here. How did you get the Sweet Babooooooooooooooo thing on the right side of our screens? Very cool.

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 7:05 PM EDT up reply actions  

I can claim no responsibility, sadly.

by Julie on Jul 4, 2009 7:07 PM EDT up reply actions  

I think you should, anyway.

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 7:21 PM EDT up reply actions  

I hope these announcers don’t expect the same night from Choo tonight. Not that I wouldn’t be delighted!

by Julie on Jul 4, 2009 7:00 PM EDT reply actions  

So, Kerry Wood… dude’s getting a save tonight.

Proud Fan of the Worst Baseball Team I've Ever Seen

by westbrook on Jul 4, 2009 7:00 PM EDT reply actions  

Hey, it’s westbroooooooooooooooooooook.

by Julie on Jul 4, 2009 7:04 PM EDT up reply actions  

It’s better than having Saaarlooooooooooooooos around.

Proud Fan of the Worst Baseball Team I've Ever Seen

by westbrook on Jul 4, 2009 8:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

crossing fingers

by Julie on Jul 4, 2009 9:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

Keep saying it, friend.

by JRontherim on Jul 5, 2009 6:25 AM EDT up reply actions  

The A’s look like Christmas with these hats.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:06 PM EDT reply actions  

I’m all for patriotism (Yay America and all that), but those hats are hideous.

by Fundamentals on Jul 4, 2009 7:09 PM EDT up reply actions  

Have I mentioned on here how I don’t like the new-age, vented helmets like the A’s are using? Ugly.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:09 PM EDT reply actions  

They figure they should do everything they can to have the ugliest uniforms in baseball.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 7:16 PM EDT up reply actions  

It’s like their little gift to fashion.

by Julie on Jul 4, 2009 7:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

I actually like them with the white shoes, in a morbid/tacky way. But the red hats and ugly helmets are just wrong.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

Way too much going on. Especially today with those patches too.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 7:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

It’s like a store from 1978 exploded and got all over their uniforms.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:20 PM EDT up reply actions  

Okay, Carl. I’m sure someone mentioned “fireworks” to you. That doesn’t mean you have to provide them, buddy.

by Julie on Jul 4, 2009 7:13 PM EDT reply actions  

I remember when they got cussed, too, Rick.

Oh, he said “Cust.”

by Julie on Jul 4, 2009 7:16 PM EDT reply actions  

Pay attention Matt Uderwood.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 7:19 PM EDT reply actions  

Underwood*

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 7:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

It was better the other way haha.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:21 PM EDT up reply actions  

C’mon, its the Athletics! They’re second worst in the AL! Wait, what’s that you say? We’re the worst? Oh.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:20 PM EDT reply actions  

So does it ever become a possibility that Carl is let go because his incentives will end up not being worth the production he’s giving us? He’s getting close to that level of uselessness, no?

by supermarioelia on Jul 4, 2009 7:21 PM EDT reply actions  

Three good starts and a row, and he becomes trade-able.

It isn’t clear that we escape the incentives by releasing him.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 7:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

Even if we could escape incentives by releasing him, without a very valid cause, could the union do something about that? File a grievance of sorts.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:23 PM EDT up reply actions  

Or just file a grievance.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 7:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

You’re the master of short replies.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:30 PM EDT up reply actions  

Sometimes.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 7:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

Is Choo going to sneak into the last-All-Star-fan-voting thing?

And if so, will the nations of Korea stuff the ballot box like the Japanese do?

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 7:21 PM EDT reply actions  

I can only hope so.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

I sure hope so. Can you post something on some Korean baseball blog?

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 7:23 PM EDT up reply actions  

Don’t get too excited about Choo. According to Buster Olney, we will be flipping him to the Braves as part of a 3 team deal with the Red Sox. Or LaPorta. You know, because we are a feeder club.

by Pronktastic on Jul 4, 2009 7:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

I might cry. No, I would cry.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 7:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

insert general expletive about Olney here

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

Wow, that’s laughable.

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 7:25 PM EDT up reply actions  

He did specifically call it pure speculation, but it’s insipid, BoSox wet-dream speculation.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:02 PM EDT up reply actions  

The idea that we would trade LaPorta literally makes no sense.

by world dictator on Jul 4, 2009 8:23 PM EDT up reply actions  

No less sense than trading Choo.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 8:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

Bwahahhahahahhahahaha

Proud Fan of the Worst Baseball Team I've Ever Seen

by westbrook on Jul 4, 2009 9:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

Mazzaro has some serious bling around his neck.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:25 PM EDT reply actions  

so will the bats stay cold tonight?

Clone Grady 25 times and we will win the World Serious in 2040

by biscuitsandgrady on Jul 4, 2009 7:25 PM EDT reply actions  

By stay you mean because they were cold in one inning?

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

Or do you mean 15 runs is cold for this team?

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 7:28 PM EDT up reply actions  

I hate that stat. Yes, if a pitcher gets through six innings they are more likely to win!

by Julie on Jul 4, 2009 7:32 PM EDT reply actions  

Except Cliff Lee. He’s more likely to just feel like punching someone later.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

Underwood is telling us Carl’s magic number of innings is pitching 6 or more.. isn’t that pretty standard for most starting pitchers?

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:32 PM EDT reply actions  

I need someone to tell me if Choo uses a special bat brand from Korea, because I think I’ve spotted the South Korean flag on the bottom of his bats.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:35 PM EDT reply actions  

PERFORMANCE ENHANCING FLAGS!

…cheater

by world dictator on Jul 4, 2009 8:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

Well that sucks.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 7:39 PM EDT reply actions  

Here’s a fun fact: Choo will end this season with two years and 119 days of service time. That’s juuuuuuust a few days shy of arbitration eligibility, creating an ideal negotiating position for the Indians to give him a long-term contract. In case you were starting to think that stuff doesn’t matter.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 7:41 PM EDT reply actions  

Wow, that’s pretty convenient. Thinking a contract similar to what Grady signed?

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:43 PM EDT up reply actions  

Not really. Grady was much younger, and two years from arbitration, and he was viewed as an elite player — borderline MVP vs. borderline All-Star. He may actually get about the same dollars over fewer years. And the contract will have to include contingencies if Choo decides to enter the Korean military, but there’s no reason that would prevent the contract from happening.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 7:46 PM EDT up reply actions  

Ok cool, I wasn’t into all the nuts and bolts of the process as much back when Grady signed, compared to now, so I wasn’t sure how it would really compare.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:47 PM EDT up reply actions  

With Grady and Jhonny, they took the rather unusual step of doing a long-term deal after only one full season, which put them in a higher leverage position since arbitration was still two years away. The more significant difference, however, is that Grady was only 23 years old, so that even a seven-year deal would end while he was 30.

Choo turns 27 next week — he’s three weeks older than Grady, by the way — so even a four-year deal, which just buys out his arbitration years, makes him a free agent at age 31. I don’t know if you do four years guaranteed with an option on the fifth year, or maybe just a three-year deal with an option on the fourth year, which is club-controlled regardless. It probably depends significantly on what kind of injury risk they think Choo is going forward. I would guess that Tommy John surgery for an outfielder is not considered a big future risk, but I don’t really know that.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 7:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

This is all good info, thanks man!

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:57 PM EDT up reply actions  

Also, what is the exact amount of service time needed to enter arbitration?

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:53 PM EDT up reply actions  

There is no exact amount — it varies every year, but it’s always been between 127 days and 142 days (plus two years). You can google the exact formula, which gets repeated all the time even though it’s very uninteresting.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 7:56 PM EDT up reply actions  

Ah, formulas.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 7:58 PM EDT up reply actions  

Ben FrancisGOOOO!

by Julie on Jul 4, 2009 7:54 PM EDT reply actions  

YAY!

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 7:54 PM EDT reply actions  

lol the bats are not cold. i take that back

Clone Grady 25 times and we will win the World Serious in 2040

by biscuitsandgrady on Jul 4, 2009 7:54 PM EDT reply actions  

nice Grady

Clone Grady 25 times and we will win the World Serious in 2040

by biscuitsandgrady on Jul 4, 2009 7:57 PM EDT reply actions  

Who is Jim Ingraham, and what the hell is the News Herald? Is that a real newspaper that is publishing that drivel?

by supermarioelia on Jul 4, 2009 7:58 PM EDT reply actions  

So I finally tracked my ass down some Pepsi Throwback.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:02 PM EDT reply actions  

And what do ya think? I like it but the Mt. Dew Throwback was a disappointment.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 8:03 PM EDT up reply actions  

Makes it taste more like Coca-Cola, so I’m good with it.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:04 PM EDT up reply actions  

The Mt. Dew version lacked orange juice concentrate, which is the fundamental difference of Mt. Dew vs. lemon lime drinks. OJ concentrate was also ALWAYS in Mt. Dew.. so it made no sense.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 8:07 PM EDT up reply actions  

I have no sense of Mountain Dew as a beverage with a history, so the throwback part is lost on me there. To me it’s always been a headache in an obnoxious green bottle.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

I’ll pretend you didn’t say that, for my own well being.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 8:11 PM EDT up reply actions  

Only half joking. My usual complaint with Pepsi — “usual” being a relative term insofar as this is like the third can of pop I’ve had this year — is that it’s too syrupy. The cane sugar definitely changes the consistency.

On the other hand, what the hell, it’s just sugar water, not something important like gin.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:09 PM EDT up reply actions  

Hahah, nice. Have you tried the real sugar version of Coke?

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 8:11 PM EDT up reply actions  

Didn’t know there was such a thing.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:12 PM EDT up reply actions  

I haven’t seen it, but I think it has existed this year in the northwest, might have to google it.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 8:14 PM EDT up reply actions  

That was fun.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:16 PM EDT up reply actions  

That isn’t sugar.

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 8:16 PM EDT up reply actions  

What is it?

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 8:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

The same stuff that’s in Red Bull, except more.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

Taurine?

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

Nope.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

Haha, yeah I saw that.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 8:25 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah, ClemsonGirl was on my wavelength.

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 8:25 PM EDT up reply actions  

Sports ahhhh sports! hahaha

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

They’ll run as fast as KENYANS! They’ll get in a race with KENYANS! tie with the KENYANS! and get deported back to KENYA!

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

You’ll say F you and kick her in the face with your ENERGY LEGS!

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:35 PM EDT up reply actions  

Lifetime movies are hilarious.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:04 PM EDT reply actions  

BenFran is starting to remind me of Looch. Every time I’m feeling really down about his ability, he hits a bomb to make it look like he might be a major league player. Fire false hope.

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 8:04 PM EDT reply actions  

At least you can make an argument for putting BFran in for defense occasionally.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 8:06 PM EDT up reply actions  

It isn’t really clear to me that he’s a big upgrade over Dellucci defensively.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 8:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

His arm alone should back up the idea that he is, right?

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 8:31 PM EDT up reply actions  

Not that I’ve seen.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 8:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

Hmm, agree to marginally disagree.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 8:51 PM EDT up reply actions  

Agreed.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 11:03 PM EDT up reply actions  

I’ve decided he and Garko are getting the 2008 Blake treatment — as much PT as we can throw at them, and they either maximize their trade value or destroy it completely. We may be fortunate in that those two might not be capable of playing worse than they played in April and May, so they’ll look like they’re on an upswing even if it’s just regression.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:06 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah, Casey was the other comparison I was thinking of. This makes sense, I guess, as long as LaPorta is not up.

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 8:12 PM EDT up reply actions  

Been thinking about the LaPorta thing. Yeah, it sucks that we don’t get to see him, but realistically, his MLE OPS is 700 and change. I’d rather watch LaPorta than Francisco, but given that the season’s over anyway, I can see the case for pumping up Ben’s trade value and making LaPorta mash his way out, rather than merely succeed.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

Plus, we get the service time advantage.

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 8:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

Such as it is.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

Happy 4th of Choo-ly! Haha, awesome.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 8:09 PM EDT reply actions  

Just stopping in to say the A’s have the worst range I’ve seen in a while in the OF. And that they should be ashamed of themselves for impersonating Sonnanstine this series.

Proud Fan of the Worst Baseball Team I've Ever Seen

by westbrook on Jul 4, 2009 8:14 PM EDT reply actions  

Hey ladies and gents, it’s been a while.

Go Tribe.

by xrickx on Jul 4, 2009 8:22 PM EDT reply actions  

What do you all think about Malbuena as a nickname, to reflect his split personality at the plate.?

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 8:23 PM EDT reply actions  

I hate it. It’s good, but I hate it.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 8:46 PM EDT up reply actions  

It beats Valgood, no?

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 8:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

Valbetter.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 8:56 PM EDT up reply actions  

Valgood is banal, and malbuena is not. The problem is where it gets us — to a name that really emphasizes the potential for the player to be bad, which not only is a bummer, it’s also not really very on-point. So it’s sort of a good design for the wrong product.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 11:05 PM EDT up reply actions  

With the top of our lineup coming up? Really?

by xrickx on Jul 4, 2009 8:23 PM EDT reply actions  

Welcome back.

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 8:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

I don’t really mind the call. It took two perfect throws to get him..

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

Also, Holliday.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

But with Asdrubal coming up….that means something.

by xrickx on Jul 4, 2009 8:25 PM EDT up reply actions  

Skinner likes to keep things interesting.

by Julie on Jul 4, 2009 8:24 PM EDT reply actions  

GRADY!!!!!!!!!

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:33 PM EDT reply actions  

I would go out drinking with Grady Sizemore and not actually get to talk with him and do nothing but console all the other people he didn’t talk to because DAMN!

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:35 PM EDT reply actions  

I don’t follow.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:35 PM EDT up reply actions  

Nothing to follow. Irrational exuberance. Some people celebrate with exclamation points. I celebrate with non-sequitors.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

Choo shows his love for America and his future citizenship with a double!

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 8:37 PM EDT reply actions  

CHOOOOOOOOO

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:37 PM EDT reply actions  

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 8:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

/burps

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

Well played.

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 8:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

Attractive.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

Imaginary Choo sparklers waving!

by Julie on Jul 4, 2009 8:37 PM EDT reply actions  

In relative hotness, lowest to highest:

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:40 PM EDT up reply actions  

Question for anyone who watches or reads Harry Potter: Why is Hogwarts the only school in the Wizarding Worldthat accepts both girls and boys?

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:43 PM EDT reply actions  

Why does Hermione do nothing wrong ever? Why does every alpha-male character in the books die lowly deaths? Why isn’t Harry ever actually angry about the fact that all his friends and relatives get killed and everybody just lets it happen? Why does the most powerful wizard in the world confine his ethnic cleansing ambitions solely to the British isles? This is not a universe that stands up to scrutiny.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:47 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

I think Voldie-poo’s plan was to conquer Great Britain and then move on.
I also want to know why pumpkin juice is considered a tasty drink. It seems like it would be nasty.
And are there any American Wizards? So far all of them are in Europe.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:49 PM EDT up reply actions  

Also Cedric’s a loser. Not alpha male material.
And Harry’s annoying.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:51 PM EDT up reply actions  

Alpha males who die: Snape, Moody, Dumbledore, that Weasley kid, Lupin (? can’t remember), and special bonus points for killing the alpha-est male, Sirius, by having him trip over a curtain.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:56 PM EDT up reply actions  

Also, I guess, Voldemort, though I’ll allow that one.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 8:57 PM EDT up reply actions  

I refer to him as Voldie-Poo, not an alpha male.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:58 PM EDT up reply actions  

Sirius and Remus hurt me.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:57 PM EDT up reply actions  

And Fred. I cried. I really did.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

Professor McGonagall’s BA though. She lives.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

I forgot to award bonus points as well for disfiguring the oldest Weasley.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:28 PM EDT up reply actions  

And the other twin.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

See? Sucks to be a dude in Rowling world.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

I don’t know. Draco got out pretty much unscathed.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:30 PM EDT up reply actions  

Draco’s a well-established coward.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

Well yeah but he lived so it paid off pretty well. Also his family got out alive.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

I’m just saying, he doesn’t apply to the J.K. Rowling-kills-alpha-males argument.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

I know but you said it sucks to be a dude in general.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

Okay. Sucks to be a dudely dude.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

If a dude isn’t dudely, is he a dude at all?

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 9:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

Neville turns out to be a pretty substantial dude too.

-Erik

by drerikbrady on Jul 4, 2009 11:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

And Kingsley Shackleford. That’s a bad ass wizard.

-Erik

by drerikbrady on Jul 4, 2009 11:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

Oh yeah Kingsley. He’s awesome.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 5, 2009 12:40 AM EDT up reply actions  

I have no idea what all this means, I was just intrigued by the fact a dude could not be dudely.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 5, 2009 1:30 AM EDT up reply actions  

Ron? He even gets a girlfriend.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

Getting a girl after pining over her for years is decidedly non-alpha. I’m speaking from experience on that one.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

I’m currently watching the pining part.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:43 PM EDT up reply actions  

Not all guys are dudes.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 11:06 PM EDT up reply actions  

Dumbledore dies?!?!?!?!?!?!

by jakesinger777 on Jul 4, 2009 9:40 PM EDT up reply actions  

No. Of course not. It was a joke…

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

Nice.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

I challenge some of these assignments as alpha males. I’ll give you Snape, Dumbledore, Voldemort and Black. But Harry is definitely an alpha and he survives.

-Erik

by drerikbrady on Jul 4, 2009 11:28 PM EDT up reply actions  

Harry’s whiny and annoying.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 5, 2009 12:40 AM EDT up reply actions  

I have two responses to that.

First, Rowling paints Harry as hot-headed, but he’s essentially reactionary. As far as I can see, the only good ideas he has come from Hermione. And ClemsonGirl’s right: Harry’s awfully passive-aggressive to be considered alpha.

Second, doesn’t he die, technically — and, I might add, when he’s about as alpha as he gets? Sure, Rowling brings him back with some deus ex mumbo-jumbo, but she does manage to punch his ticket first.

I gotta shake you off my six, Erik.

by fleerdon on Jul 5, 2009 2:14 AM EDT up reply actions  

I think we should explore this further at a ballgame sometime.

-Erik

by drerikbrady on Jul 6, 2009 10:39 AM EDT up reply actions  

Why does Harry Potter suck? I agree with Fleerdon. No scrutiny at all

by world dictator on Jul 4, 2009 8:50 PM EDT up reply actions  

The books are well-executed. Not as ground-breaking as people give them credit for, but well-executed. Rowling really ground my gears when she ripped on the Chronicles of Narnia and then compared her books favorably to them, but I guess I shouldn’t extend that criticism to the actual fiction, which gets pretty flawed on its own merits. Harry’s just not a believable male teenager. He’s nowhere near angry enough, given the circumstances. She stayed inside Hogwarts for probably two books too long.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:01 PM EDT up reply actions  

I’ve spent some time thinking about this, by the way.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:03 PM EDT up reply actions  

The books are fabulous. Very entertaining. The movies are also very entertaining. Kind of mindless but fun anyways.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:05 PM EDT up reply actions  

I read most of them, and I can’t say I didn’t enjoy a lot of the time I spent reading them. She obviously had a lot of affection for her characters, and it showed. But I think her two flattest characters were the two most important — Harry and Voldemort — and that she had to open up some pretty gaping plot holes to compensate. They were good enough to sell, by the end, but they got increasingly repetitive and safe when they could have been challenging, and … something bigger than a way to sell movies and video-games, you know?

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

But if you just want mindless entertainment they’re a pretty good choice. She can’t write fundamentally well at all. My english teacher gave us grammar exercises entirely from her books to correct. I don’t have much faith in her abilities as a writer so I never expected the books to get too challenging.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

Oh well. She’s better than Dan Smith.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

I don’t even know who that is.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

LOL. Dan Brown. Sorry, just watching Joe Smith pitch. ADD attack.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

Oh well. I know who THAT is. haha

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

I guess … she had all these 10-year-olds digging into 800-page books, and at the end of it all, I feel like they just picked up their Playstation controllers again. Maybe it’s unfair of me to put more expectations on her, but I wanted to jump up and down screaming — “YOUNG HARRY POTTER READERS! THIS IS A BOOK CALLED TREASURE ISLAND! IT IS ALSO TOTALLY RAD! THERE IS MORE ADVENTURE FICTION IN THE WORLD! READ THAT TOO!”

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

Slack-jawed child stares blankly at adult shouting about Robert Louis Stevenson.

by odradek on Jul 4, 2009 10:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

Don’t get me started on Kipling. I actually would have to break furniture because he’s too awesome. Man, I miss reading for fun.

by fleerdon on Jul 5, 2009 2:21 AM EDT up reply actions  

They’re only ground breaking in the sense that people (including young people) actually read them.

-Kyle

by Kyle Garret on Jul 4, 2009 9:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

I know nothing about these books, but I do know that they aren’t usually called groundbreaking. Mind-bogglingly popular, yes, but not ground-breaking. Not like Thriller.

As an aside, anyone complimenting a Chris Columbus movie in any way is not to be taken seriously, ever, on any subject.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 11:08 PM EDT up reply actions  

I wasn’t complimenting a Chris Columbus movie. I was watching the fourth one, not Columbus.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 5, 2009 12:41 AM EDT up reply actions  

Garret was being facetious, but he’s right: People talk about how wonderful it is that all these kids got into books. Except they didn’t get into books. They got into these books. Which is a total crock. If all you’re doing is sucking up the franchise, you’re not a reader, you’re just developing a new facet of consumer whorishness.

Or just scrap that. Sub in another word for “ground-breaking.” Not as “well-rounded” as people give them credit for. Not as “intense” as people give them credit for. Not as “good” as people give them credit for. Sweet Jesus, Levin, I don’t have any PRACTICE posting about Harry Potter. I read some of the books is all.

Side note, if you have another son, I suddenly think you should consider “Sweet Jesus” up there on the name possibilities. “Sweet Jesus Levin” is a name that could take you places.

by fleerdon on Jul 5, 2009 2:01 AM EDT up reply actions  

I’d suggest it as a nickname for Sam, but after Stomp and the Fists, I’ll refrain from that in case he ever wants to pitch.

by fleerdon on Jul 5, 2009 2:17 AM EDT up reply actions  

That first paragraph there is so true.

Proud Fan of the Worst Baseball Team I've Ever Seen

by westbrook on Jul 5, 2009 2:30 AM EDT up reply actions  

I don’t know, it sort of seems like you’re conflating two different frustrations here. You could look at consumer obsession as the constant in our society, and book reading as an independent variable. It doesn’t really matter whether they get hooked into Harry Potter or some other consumer confection, but at least this way, they did read seven books. That is still a lot more, almost certainly, than they otherwise would have read.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 5, 2009 9:07 AM EDT up reply actions  

I really enjoy that you’re pushing me on this.

Okay, we’ll try this.

1. Rowling doggedly kills off nearly (for Erik) all her strong male characters, often in ignominious fashion. I recognize there are plenty of misogynist authors who are considered great, so I won’t argue the point on its own merits. I’ll only say that her insistence here comes at the expense of her other characters, since they’re deprived of the conflicts all those dead alphas created.

2. The two most important characters in the books, her protagonist and her antagonist, are the most one-dimensional. Eventually Rowling has to slaughter people wholesale and break some of her own rules just to keep these two on their limited arcs.

3. The sum of these grievances is that the series as a whole becomes a dead-eyed, paint-by-numbers affair by the end when it obviously had the charisma for something greater. While I admire Rowling for pulling it off — hey, I can’t buy a castle in suburban Edinburgh with MY royalties — the idealist in me feels cheated, at least on behalf of myself, but also on behalf of all those kids who are never going to pick up a decent book if she doesn’t write it.

by fleerdon on Jul 5, 2009 9:46 AM EDT up reply actions  

Again, you haven’t really made any link — none — from the literary weaknesses of the series to its effects on the reading habits of the general public. If the books handled male characters better, would our children magically start reading more books? I think it’s fair to ask, what the hell are you even talking about?

I also don’t see why it’s Rowling’s responsibility to change everyone’s reading habits single-handedly — nor am I at all certain that she didn’t! It seems axiomatic that the best thing any author can do to encourage reading is to create books that people want to read, which obviously she did. Did Beatles and Michael Jackson fans never buy any other records?

The conclusion that most of those kids will never decide to check out another book seems entirely specious, and you certainly haven’t laid any foundation for it. If nothing else, those kids’ have had their reading muscles flexed, so that picking up another book must seem like a less daunting and improbable choice.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 5, 2009 12:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

No causal link? I put them in a numbered list, Jay. What more do you WANT?

I over-stated things, surely. Over the line; mark it zero. I wish the series had grown more challenging. I think Rowling did her young readers something of a disservice — not that they’d all turn into voracious readers and lead the way to a more literate society, just that she had a chance to make the books much better, and she missed it. In a way, maybe I’m just making the Casey Blake mistake again — faulting somebody simply for not being being who I’d rather they were.

My evidence about kids reading those books and nothing more is all anecdotal — friends of mine from school who are teachers, that sort of thing. I could certainly be wrong. I hope I am.

Anyway, like I intimated above, I’d rather have 12-year-olds reading Harry Potter than 32-year-olds reading Dan Brown, so maybe I should pick my battles.

by fleerdon on Jul 5, 2009 1:17 PM EDT up reply actions  

Or Crichton, or a dozen other examples.

You have to consider the size of the phenomenon. It may well be that the majority — that a super-majority even — of kids who read Harry Potter read nothing else. But they must be more likely to discover something later on. If it’s only 20% of Harry Potter readers who do read something else, that is still a huge number of kids reading books who otherwise wouldn’t be.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 5, 2009 4:03 PM EDT up reply actions  

“Billie Jean” is a pretty awesome song.

by odradek on Jul 5, 2009 2:26 AM EDT up reply actions  

wow Edward Mujica has a 2.75 ERA. I hope that’s a really nice bag of balls we get for him

by world dictator on Jul 4, 2009 8:51 PM EDT reply actions  

In San Diego. In the NL West.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:52 PM EDT up reply actions  

No doubt.

But still wow.

by world dictator on Jul 4, 2009 8:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

Tiger Rag time y’all.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:55 PM EDT reply actions  

Successful again.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 8:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

Damn your high pitch count Pavano.

by world dictator on Jul 4, 2009 8:57 PM EDT reply actions  

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 8:59 PM EDT reply actions  

The I’s aren’t as cool looking.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:00 PM EDT up reply actions  

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:02 PM EDT up reply actions  

I’m out. Happy 4th, everyone.

"Lotta heart in Cleveland." - Ian Hunter

by Denver Tribe Fan on Jul 4, 2009 9:03 PM EDT reply actions  

Holy crap. Steve McNair was killed today

by world dictator on Jul 4, 2009 9:06 PM EDT reply actions  

Was there a hat giveaway today? Everyone has the same hats on.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:08 PM EDT reply actions  

That ball went off of Grady’s foot. Just saying.

by jakesinger777 on Jul 4, 2009 9:10 PM EDT reply actions  

CHOOOOOOOO!

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:21 PM EDT reply actions  

Please God, please.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:33 PM EDT reply actions  

Oh god that performer of the game is upsetting.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:35 PM EDT reply actions  

Yay a Kerry Wood Save!

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:37 PM EDT reply actions  

Kerry Wood?!?! Kerry Wood!

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 9:37 PM EDT reply actions  

< / nostradamus>

Proud Fan of the Worst Baseball Team I've Ever Seen

by westbrook on Jul 4, 2009 9:38 PM EDT reply actions  

Man, was that Kerry’s cutter that slides off the left side of the plate at 90 like that?

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:38 PM EDT reply actions  

^#$%&ing unhittable, whatever it was.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

I think it’s what we paid so much money for.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

It was not there when we needed it most, thats what it was.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 9:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

This.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:40 PM EDT up reply actions  

Stupid Cubs.

Who needs affection when you can have blind hatred?

by ClemsonGirl on Jul 4, 2009 9:40 PM EDT up reply actions  

Right. Because those 4 blown saves were real make-or-break.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:40 PM EDT up reply actions  

They.. coulda been?

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 9:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

LOL. Yes. If it weren’t for Kerry Wood’s 16 runs allowed, we’d be third in the league overall in RA instead of dead last.

by fleerdon on Jul 4, 2009 9:44 PM EDT up reply actions  

See! :)

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 4, 2009 9:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

salome, if you’re reading this, I thought I had found my cartoon character in Wubbzy, but it wasn’t he. Getting closer, though. It’s the right “style” of character.

by Julie on Jul 4, 2009 9:53 PM EDT reply actions  

You’re not talking about The Cheat, are you?

I believe in Carl Pavano.

by salome on Jul 5, 2009 12:53 AM EDT up reply actions  

THE CHEAT IS TO THE LIMIT.

--
Force quit and move to trash.

by vbc3 on Jul 5, 2009 12:53 AM EDT up reply actions  

Everybody come on, fhqwhgads!

I believe in Carl Pavano.

by salome on Jul 5, 2009 1:00 AM EDT up reply actions  

My respect for all 3 of you just went up a notch.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 5, 2009 1:31 AM EDT up reply actions  

My respect for all 4 of you just went down a notch.

Proud Fan of the Worst Baseball Team I've Ever Seen

by westbrook on Jul 5, 2009 1:40 AM EDT up reply actions  

You just broke my heart. </3

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 5, 2009 2:20 AM EDT up reply actions  

is that an emoticon or an end 3 tag?

Proud Fan of the Worst Baseball Team I've Ever Seen

by westbrook on Jul 5, 2009 2:30 AM EDT up reply actions  

Busted.

Shin-Soo Choo, future U.S. Citizen.

by USSChoo on Jul 5, 2009 3:24 AM EDT up reply actions  

This site would be a lot easier to read if people didn’t use 3ed text so often.

by Logodaedalus on Jul 5, 2009 5:51 PM EDT up reply actions  

I’m watching second half Tribe
Second half dredge,
That’s why they call him “Second Half Wedge”,

The long man in our parlor,
Mark bought for ten cents on the dollar,
Second half saves,
I’m sick of second hand holds,
We never get a first half that’s true,
Even Jake the pitcher, he’s the man I adore,
Had the nerve to tell me he’s been DL’d before!!

Second half Wedge,
Please talk me down from this ledge,
From second ShinSooChoo!!!!

by elsandito on Jul 4, 2009 10:17 PM EDT reply actions   2 recs

I didn’t really care for this but I rec’d it anyway.

by ASP on Jul 4, 2009 10:35 PM EDT up reply actions  

I’ll take a pity rec.

by elsandito on Jul 4, 2009 10:46 PM EDT up reply actions  

We all could use a pity rec.

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

by Jay on Jul 4, 2009 11:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah, I mean, if people will rec my sizzling fajitas picture, I can rec something that took some actual thought.

by fleerdon on Jul 5, 2009 2:27 AM EDT up reply actions  

I really don’t want a second-half surge. I want a good, healthy, season-long suck. None of this “July XX and after” nonsense. I’m tired of them being decent long enough to get my hopes up and screw us over in the draft.

by fleerdon on Jul 5, 2009 2:26 AM EDT up reply actions  

Learning to love is, is what. Drinking rye on the rocks tonight. CK, this one’s for you.

by fleerdon on Jul 5, 2009 2:45 AM EDT up reply actions  

*learning to love IT.

So it really is dedicated to Chuck, typos and all.

by fleerdon on Jul 5, 2009 2:46 AM EDT up reply actions  

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