The academic year is well underway for me, which is another way of saying I am well behind in my grading responsibilities. Sometimes when I am grading papers or exams, I like to write the students a quick, one line message right at the end of their work. It might be a summary of my evaluation of their work, a congratulatory note, or a suggestion as to what direction they should look towards in the future to improve. In an attempt to continue my own procrastinations, here are my best guesses of Manny Acta's end of the year messages:
Travis Hafner: "Pronk-daddy! I know you love her, but you can't spoon your wife all night. Sleeping on your shoulder like that is killing us!! Best, Man-Daddy"
Asdrubal Cabrera: "Great having you back healthy and productive at the end of the season, I thought you might enjoy these highlight videos of Omar Vizquel during the offseason! Salud, Maninator"
Chris Perez: "RRRRAAAAAGGGGEEEE, baby! GGAAARRRR, Man-CRAZY"
Lou Marson: "Keep your chin up, every great player has gone through a season in which they hit (indecipherable scratch marks) under .200. Cheers, Manny Acta-vator"
Luis Valbuena: "Keep your chin up, every great player has gone through a season in which they hit (exaggerated indecipherable scratch marks) under .200. Salud, Acta"
Fausto Carmona: "In off-season, think conditioning, not cold. M-M-M-Manny"
Mitch Talbot: "Not to put too much pressure on you, but the guy you were traded for hit 5 HRs this year. Five. And he's 30. So keep up the hard work this Winter. Best, Manny"
Justin Masterson: "This off-season Justin, I want you to really focus on the lefties. Every time you see someone writing a check with their left-hand, playing frisbee with their left-hand, anything at all....just take 'em out. Your big, I've got faith in you. Just need you to get the right attitude and confidence. Also, here's the number for the MLBPA's general counsel XXX-XXX-XXXX. Behind you, Manny-ter"
Jayson Nix: "When you are practicing at 3B this off-season, just imagine you are at 2B and the batter is standing really far outside the box. Mil gracias, Manny"
David Huff: "Way to lower your HR count from 16 to 14! M. Acta"
Carlos Santana: "Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation...repeat. Tu amigo, Man-fan"
Grady Sizemore: "Make sure you take all the time you need coming back.
I'll We'll get by, trust me, really. Mucha salud, Manny"
Matt LaPorta: "Maybe you can squeeze in a prayer or two for Grady and Carlos this offseason. Blessings, Manny"
Rafael Perez: "I swear to you...the size of footballs....the stuff of legends. Cheers, Man-tastic"
Joe Smith: "What can I say about a guy named Joe Smith? Great effort this year! Manny"
Frank Herrmann: "So, when you were at Harvard, did you know that Zuckerberg guy? Graciously, Mantasm"
Jeanmar Gomez: "Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because you walked him, work on your control! Ha! Acta"
Aaron Laffey: "Manny Acta likes your status. M.A."
Tony Sipp: "Think big for 2011. I've got you down on my breakout list. Cheers, Manny"
Shin-Soo Choo: "Ask not what you can do for your country. Best, Manny-milestogo"
Jordan Brown: "Keep up the solid work, you are really important to us. Truly, Manny E. Acta"
Andy Marte: "For the last time, cut those sideburns, Andy! Sincerely, Mr. Acta"
Hector Ambriz: "We gotcha baby! Manny"
Jason Donald: "We've got a lot of 3B/SS/2B types coming up. Be better. Manterrific"
Carlos Carrasco: "Here's a motivational mix-CD, Carlos. Listen to 'Under Pressure' on repeat all off-season! Exito, Manny"
Shelley Duncan: "I have to admit, you are a large man, Shelley. Respectfully, Manny"
Jensen Lewis: "We just need you to re-focus J-Lew. Here is the 2007 season highlight DVD (skip the last 5 minutes). Hasta luego, Mannyanny Acta"
Justin Germano: "If you can get that curveball to come down a few more mph, I really think you'll be on to something. Sweet, Manny"
Chris Gimenez: "Keep your chin up, every great player has gone......(different pen color, odor of liquor) Feliz navidad! Manny"
Drew Sutton: "Great effort, Don. Your work at 3B really helped us out. Salud! Manchismo"
Luke Carlin: "I loved your dad's comedy! Mighty Manny"
Vinnie Pestano: "I'll take two large pepperoni and onions with the sicilian crust. Acta residence"