Indians, Yankees Finally Complete Kerry Wood Trade, We Think

CLEVELAND--A little over a week ago, the Yankees announced that they had completed their trade with the Indians that netted the Yankees reliever Kerry Wood. In a press release dated Thursday, October 21, the Yankees stated that pitcher Andrew Shive and infielder Matt Cusick would go to Cleveland as the final pieces in the deal, orginally consummated in early August. 

However, on Friday, Cusick reappeared at the front offices of the New York Yankees with what new Indians GM Chris Antonetti termed, in a note pinned to Cusick's shirt, "the actual final pieces of the trade." The note, which was handwritten, read as follows:

Mr. Cashman, et al-

Please find attached the actual final pieces of the trade involving Kerry Wood. I'll include a packing manifest in this note so that you can assure no items were lost in transit. All items were shipped via MegaBus

(1) Extremely strongly worded memo from Mark Shapiro, addressed to Kerry Wood;

(1) IBM ThinkPad, 1997 model;

(1) Flip Video Camera, containing footage of a man resembling Bob Wickman (True Indian™) pouring beer onto Kristen Lee, wife of Cliff Lee;

(1/2) Package of Circus Peanuts, which Mr. Cusick was explicitly instructed not to eat;

(1) Mr. Cusick, whom we neither asked for nor wanted;

(1) IBM ThinkPad, 1999 model;

(1) Copy of Kate Bush's Album Red Shoes

(2) Cleveland Indians Luggage Tags, which were given away to fans at Progressive Park in July of 2006;

(1) Photograph of Jerry "The King" Lawler, autographed by Bob Feller. 

When reached for comment, Antonetti admitted, "I'm new at this," but quickly followed up by saying, "I'm pretty sure everyone got close to equal value in the second half of this deal. Cusick's the same person, for starters!"

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