Cleveland Pitchers Unhittable This Postseason

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In a hastily called press conference, incoming Cleveland Indians General Manager Chris Antonetti praised his pitchers for not surrendering a single hit on Wednesday, the first day of the Major League Baseball postseason. "We were really impressed with our guys today-just with their consistency and composure. No one gave up a hit. Not even Huff." This effort, which Antonetti called "historic", is even more remarkable considering that the Indians have also not given up a hit in either of the two last Major League Baseball postseasons. "It seems like no matter who we bring in, guys really lock it in when our team gets into October. What Roy Halladay did today was impressive but, frankly, it's old hat to us. Nobody's getting hits against our staff after the regular season and that, inherently, is a good thing."

When pressed further, Antonetti admitted he "did not know" where Jeremy Sowers was and that "it was possible" that Mitch Talbot had given up a hit "in some manner unrelated to competitive baseball: like on a video game or, if you want to be ambiguous, he may have given a too hard high-five or something. I doubt it though. Mitch is very consistent."

 

When reached for comment at his home, Indians relief pitcher Chris Perez expressed surprise at his team's success. "Nobody? Not even Huff?", Perez asked before ending the conversation with, "Doesn't matter anyway. Our hitters aren't getting on base."

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