Down here in Columbus, the Clippers' early season has seen some startling developments, like the appearance of ...
El Chupacabra
http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/sports/stories/2010/04/12/clippers-quiet-bats-5-3.html?sid=101
In a move that shocked xenobiologists everywhere, reliable witnesses have confirmed the existence of El Chupacabra, a 3rd round pick of the Cleveland Indians in the 2004 draft. Also known as "Scott Lewis", he was long thought to be little more than an urban legend. However, he is indeed real and demonstrated startling abilities such as being able to throw a ball in such a manner as to avoid being struck by a bat. Early speculation regarding whether or not such a being could prove resistant to Shapiro's Disease (symptoms: weakness, poor muscle control, presumably blurred vision) is unfounded. Although the only other known specimen to demonstrate such resistance was, similar to Lewis, a middling starting pitcher prospect (Laffey, Aaron), this alone is not sufficient basis to posit resistance to a plague that has proved so troublesome to so many, particularly given El Chupacabra's long and varied history of injury and mishap. Many sufferers had been entirely healthy and productive until deposited in the region where Shapiro's disease is endemic, the center field bullpen at 2401 Ontario Street, Cleveland. The delicate constitution of El Chupacabra would not seem to be a good fit for such a harsh environment.
Sadly, all evidence suggests that Lewis's rumored compatriot, Adam 'Loch Ness' Miller, is entirely mythical.




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