So I guess you've all seen this: http://iwl.me/ (can't get the link command to work) the program that purports to analyze your writing - it uses statistics and everything! - so that you can flatter yourself into thinking that your prose is exactly like some famous writer . And all of us here - myself included - think that we've got some skill; otherwise we wouldn't be posting here at all. So I thought it would be fun to run some of our posts through this literary meat grinder and see what came out. I thought I'd start with Andrew's new opus "Late Returns". And what do you think the "I Write Like" program spit out? Go on, I'll give you a minute to contemplate the possibilities..........why Stephen King of course.
Next, since he's almost inimitable, I took YoDaddyWags profile poem, which goes:
With wife, I own and operate
A small town bookshop: Hamish & Henry.
Before, we had big city life; then we
Threw it in for what has, to date,
Been a smidgen of Mayberry and a drop of country estate.
(One overrun with cats and dogs.)
When it's time to turn from recession's woes,
Or restocking shelves with more deathless prose,
LGT is first among blogs,
Though my BABIP, OPS and WARP studies are mocked by the peeping frogs
Dutifully turned the crank and got................James Joyce. Now ya gotta admit, that's just about perfect.
Then of course I hadda pick out one of my posts, so I chose this one, posted during the 2007 ALCS (cleaned it up a bit since it was posted back before Jay got religion)
What an inning!
Yankees fans at the hotel:
The Indians aren't winning - the Yankee's are blowin' it
Torre's an idiot - he shoulda taken Wang our long ago!
The Yankee's bull pen is much better than the Indians!
All those long faces in the Yankee's dugout
And LeBron with the same look on his face as when the Spurs stomped a mud hole in his ass.
Man, this is even better than I imagined!
My [redacted] so hard right now a cat couldn't scratch it!
And got: Bram Stoker!
And what would an analysis of LGT prose would be complete without parsing Jay's work. So I took Jays write up of Game 58 and got: H. P. Lovecraft. Who wouldda guessed?
Any way, I encourage all LGTers to try this on your favorite fan posts and see what you get. It's probably at least as accurate as predicting the future of Lake County prospects