"DISCLAIMER: BY READING THE PITCHING PROJECTIONS BELOW, YOU ARE CERTIFYING THAT YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT, HAVE A HEART CONDITION AND THAT YOU OR ANY CLOSE RELATIVE ARE NOT ANY CLEVELAND INDIAN PITCHER THAT IS NOT CHRIS PEREZ. READER ALSO AGREES, AS CONDITION IN ORDER TO READ BELOW TEXT, THAT YOU INDEMNIFY DAN SZYMBORSKI, JIM FURTADO, AND ANYONE WHO OWNS OR IS ASSOCIATED WITH THE BASEBALL THINK FACTORY AGAINST ALL DAMAGES ARISING FROM READING THE BELOW TEXT INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO SUICIDE, DEPRESSION, DIARRHEA, DRY-MOUTH, DIVIDE-BY-ZERO ERROR, AND THE IMMEDIATE COMPLETE DISINTEGRATION OF THE MILKY WAY GALAXY."