Acta, Masterson split bottle of wine

The Onion really gets us.

10 months ago Jay 13 comments 3 recs |

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Wow. I saw this on Twitter and chuckled but didn’t realize it was about the Indians. That’s hilarious.

Lou Marson fan.

by Gradyforpresident on Jul 22, 2011 11:13 AM EDT reply actions

I love the Onion on Twitter. Most times, the headline is all you need.

by Chemo on Jul 22, 2011 6:52 PM EDT up reply actions

I am not surprised at Santana’s sensitivity.

by YoDaddyWags on Jul 22, 2011 11:44 AM EDT reply actions

what I want to know is whether Masterson’s facial expression is real in the photo… so awesome if it is.

"I want to be playing at the end of October or the end of September -- not just at the beginning of April." —Grady

by westbrook on Jul 22, 2011 12:36 PM EDT reply actions

Is Evan moonlighting for The Onion?

@grantgw - sports and Cleveland and Columbus stuff

by woodsmeister on Jul 22, 2011 12:52 PM EDT reply actions

I thought Andrew.

by Jay on Jul 23, 2011 5:23 PM EDT up reply actions

Maybe both – Evan’s encyclopedic knowledge of wine + Andrew.

@grantgw - sports and Cleveland and Columbus stuff

by woodsmeister on Jul 23, 2011 5:45 PM EDT up reply actions

I’m with Jay. This is pure Andrew. It’s very funny, even by the Onion’s standards.

by tabler84 on Jul 23, 2011 11:54 PM EDT up reply actions

It’s not just how funny, it’s the way that it’s funny. The elaborate laying out of personalities, situations and wistful moments. The specifics about the wine are yours in terms of knowledge, but Andrew’s in terms of style.

by Jay on Jul 24, 2011 10:05 AM EDT up reply actions

Well, that’s flattering. Thanks, guys.

by afh4 on Jul 25, 2011 11:12 AM EDT up reply actions

So awesome. I wonder how on earth they arrived at the Tribe for this.

by JulioBernazard on Jul 22, 2011 2:02 PM EDT reply actions

“Manny Acta” (sung to the tune of “Magheetah” by My Morning Jacket)

Standin’ here with me and mine
All wrapped up in a bottle of wine
Little we can do, we gonna see the start through somehow

So, now are you ready to go, my righty?
I been waitin’ in the dugout I been waitin’ so long
“Can he see me? Does he feel all his pitches?
Does he know me at all?

“Does it turn bats into splinters?
Always deliver?
Does it know me at all?”

Bang bang goes Los’s mitt
All wrapped up in the stadium light
Don’t “five and fly,” just listen
Just slow down

So… now are you ready to go, my righty?
I been waitin’ in the dugout, I been waitin’ so long

Oh Manny Acta, Manny Acta
Oh Manny Acta, Manny Acta

by JulioBernazard on Jul 22, 2011 2:58 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs