Put together with the help of former serial commenter Tyler (fleerdon) and assists from Adam (APV) and Jay.
He thought hockey was stupid.
Refused to sign the petition to get Ron Gardenhire on the ballot as a candidate for judge in Hennepin County, citing Gardenhire's complete lack of experience with the law. When teammates told him that Gardenhire, "simply knows right from wrong", he was unmoved.
Could not be bullied into agreeing with Michael Cuddyer's assertion that "The restaurants in Northern Minnesota are as good as anywhere in the world" and "way better than anything in New York."
He was seen cutting a piece of the right field Metrodome Baggie to insulate his attic.
Jason Kubel once caught him reading Pitchfork and told all the other guys.
Attempted to cultivate arugula in the cracks in the Metrodome outfield.
He didn't sign the big construction paper birthday card the guys still send Torii Hunter every year. Later, when pressured, he signed, but did not inscribe any personalized well wishes.
Joked that his 625 OPS in 2008 entitled him to half of Carlos Gomez's at-bats.
On a plane ride home after the Twins got swept by Oakland, he listened to a book on tape rather than join in the ritualistic post-sweep team viewing of Cool Runnings.
He admitted to Twins Pitching Coach Rick Anderson that, yes, he did think Fargo was pretty funny.
He spurned the Punto Puntome, Nick's hand-decorated three ring binder full of potato chip crusted casserole recipes, tasteful jokes, and bunting strategies.
He would not kiss Jeff Manship's new ring, which Manship asserted he had "stolen from the crypt of Zoilo Versalles."
Eyed Mauer and Morneau suspiciously when they bought their neighboring fishing cabins, provoking a brief but awkward silence.
Groaned loudly every time one of his teammates bunted.
He declined Bert's offer to circle him.
He asked if anybody was going to eat those chicken wings, when Gardenhire had already called them, like, five minutes earlier.
On at least three occasions, he wondered aloud why Target Field was open-air.
When asked by team owner Carl Pohlad if he'd like to have a piece of the Metrodome turf as a keepsake, responded "What the [redacted] for?", without even looking up from his locker.
He won Twins trivia night by being the only member of the team to be able to correctly name Prince's home state (Minnesota).
Refused to serve as a celebrity judge for the Apple Valley Corn Queen competition following the 2008 season citing 'prior commitments.'
Once, in late 2009, on two consecutive days, he was the first player to leave the building.
He answered "yes" when the trainer asked him if his elbow, which was actively bleeding, hurt.
Admitted to thinking math was "pretty cool."