I'm tight with a pair of polar bear cubs named Paksu and Valkotukka, who were good enough to take time from their own Christmas-time responsibilities to go through Santa's outbox and grab a few letters postmarked 2401 Ontario Street, in Cleveland. They wouldn't tell me if the letters came from the naughty or nice piles, so I'm not sure if these guys will be getting what they wished for or not*.
*The idea for this post was lifted from LGT's Chicago cousin, Bleed Cubbie Blue. Thanks to managing editor Al Yellon and author Josh Timmers for the inspiration.
Here you go:
Dear Santa Claus,
Thank you so much for the ticket to Cleveland you gave me last year, it worked out way better than anyone expected. What I would like most of all now is a Gold Glove. I think I was good enough to deserve one this year, and while I know many people don't consider them as cool as they used to be, I would still be very excited to unwrap one. Also, if there's a present that help me see the strike zone a little better when I'm batting, that would be neat too.
Thank you for the $48 million last year. I know I was asked for even more than that, but I hear that was only possible if the Mets were involved, and no amount of money is worth that. What I would like most of all is a new pair of shoes, that will make me really fast, because I seem to have left my old pair in Atlanta.
Love, Michael Bourn
I am so happy that after all my presents for 2012 were damaged, last year you replaced everything, so that everything felt like it used to again. Thank you for not bringing me the contract extension I asked for, because I know that if I'm good again next year, you'll bring me an even bigger one in 12 months. In the meantime, if you would bring me one more friend my age to hang out with in the rotation, that would be great.
Sincerely, Justin Masterson
Did you know we are both named Nick?! I wonder if that means we're related??? There are so many awesome things I want for Christmas, but JoAnna says my first list was too long, and that I had to make it shorter. The one thing I've got to have is the new Skylanders game, Skylanders: Swap Force! There are all these new characters, and you can swap their top half or bottom half for someone else's to create even more guys! Like, you could have a shark head and fins, with an octopus' bottom! That would be rad! I have all the different systems, so you can bring me the game for any of them.
Dear Santa -
All I want for Christmas is whatever you gave Scott Kazmir last year.
I would love for you to bring me one more year as a player. As your older brother, I don't think this is too much for me to ask of you.
Love, Jason Giambi
You already gave me the best bat on the team, for which I am grateful. What I really want now is a few more runners in scoring position when I'm up to bat. That way I can drive in 100 runs, and the fools who don't think I'm a good hitter will stop complaining. That would be amazing.
Sincerely, Carlos Santana
P.S. - I would also like a third baseman's glove, because while I still love my catchers' mitt, others tell me it's not very good.
I wonder what the rest of the team asked for...