Soylent Green is People: 4/19

"Who in the world is Zaphod Beeblebrox?” - Eric P. Mull-US PRESSWIRE

It ain't easy being green.

What happens to the space-time continuum if a comment on a Soylent Green post goes green?
Let's Go Tribe, SBNation's Cleveland Indians blog
by Jason Lukehart on Apr 12, 2013 | 3:09 PM reply rec (4) flag

We don't know, as it turns out; it didn't seem like anything happened. We definitely know what happens to said continuum when a former Cy Young-level pitches dissolves into nothing, though, so we'll start there.

First, Turk gets sick:

As a fellow human being, I feel crappy for Ubaldo. I’d bet that, as a professional athlete, there’s nothing harder than knowing you’re capable of competing — excelling, even — at the highest levels of competition, and not being able to keep your confidence. As a fellow human being, I hope he turns it around.

As a baseball fan, I want to puke. I can’t stomach another start from Ubaldo. Every time out is like thinking the “one that got away” is going to take you back, only to watch her make explicit love to some vile person right on front of you.
I don’t care if it’s Mother Teresa, if she was wearing a Yankee uniform, I’d still boo her. -- mauichuck
by Turkmenbashi on Apr 17, 2013 | 11:32 AM reply rec (12) flag

Then we all start sniping at each other:

Yeah, Brantely’s .378 OBP is really starting to worry me. I thought for sure he’d be Barry Bonds by now.
by Zaza Braggins on Apr 17, 2013 | 10:10 AM up reply rec (13) flag

Top tip: do your homework before your initial post, not after it.
by Joel D on Apr 17, 2013 | 1:30 PM up reply 4 recs flag

Then we give up on the pitcher...:

If the manufacturing process keeps him off the mound, I’m up for it.
by Ellaybee on Apr 17, 2013 | 2:21 PM up reply rec (4) flag

I’ve started to call him Ughbaldo.
by talonk on Apr 17, 2013 | 8:36 AM reply rec (3) flag

...and the franchise:

If our org was good, we’d be good. But we never are. So our org is good, but we are never good. That is a contradiction, so we need to check our premises ya no?
by joeee on Apr 17, 2013 | 12:32 PM up reply rec (3) flag

OK here goes.
We drafted like crap
We missed on the Travis Hafner and Grady Sizemore deals
We missed on the CC and Cliff Lee trades

There. It’s pretty easy to explain. Besides the drafting and the Cliff Lee trade, the rest of those moves were if not smart, then easily defensible. Sometimes it doesn’t work out and the Indians don’t have the money to paper over that many mistakes.
by Cols714 on Apr 17, 2013 | 12:10 PM up reply rec (4) flag

But a winner in baseball to Cleveland is something like the 90s, which just won’t happen again.
by 7foot3 on Apr 18, 2013 | 1:37 PM up reply rec (3) flag

DOLAN IZ CHEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Combining folksy good sense and cutthroat business tactics for the last two centuries.
by mauichuck on Apr 17, 2013 | 3:14 PM up reply rec (4) flag

Then, by some miracle, we cop to our mistakes like adults...:

If only we knew someone who was high on Ubaldo coming in to the season to try to talk us down from our collective ledge.
by Ockus_NYC on Apr 17, 2013 | 10:18 AM up reply rec (4) flag

Can I go back and edit my “Ubaldo will be good again” comments?
by Cols714 on Apr 18, 2013 | 3:32 PM reply rec (21)

...come together by blaming someone else...:

Thanks Ubaldo. This is what you do to us.
by TKilbane on Apr 17, 2013 | 12:34 PM up reply rec (3) flag

...and let the healing begin:

Just to recenter things. This was one bad start by a pitcher who is probably going to be gone soon. Long way to go, I still think we are going to be good. If Masterson continues to show that 2011 was not a fluke we are still in good shape.
by Cols714 on Apr 17, 2013 | 3:07 PM reply rec (5) flag

Then we do and say weird things:

So, now we have the answer to the question, “how is MIchael Brantley like Zaphod Beeblebrox?”
by woodsmeister on Apr 16, 2013 | 11:54 AM up reply rec (7) flag

Arborea must be where the strike zone is.
Bats right like Thornton, left like Hargrove.
by ethorn on Apr 18, 2013 | 1:42 PM up reply rec (4) flag

And there you have it. Happy commenting, and I will see you all next week.

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