Soylent Green is People: 7/12

How I feel about Danny Salazar.

Something something about green or recs or something. I'm tired.

I don't usually start with the green of the week, but something special happened this week. That something special was Danny Salazar, who changed the way one often combative LGTer approaches both baseball and life.

Cols puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore
Then he thought of something he hadn’t before
What if, Cols thought, pitchers don’t come from a mall
What if, perhaps, pitching prospects exist after all

And what happened next, well at LGT they say
Cols’s small heart grew 3 sizes that day
by Cols714 on Jul 11, 2013 | 8:17 PM reply rec (16)

I almost had a real downer of a line about heart size here, but I decided to cut it out. Suffice it to say, Danny Salazar was the breath of fresh air a flagging fan base - and bullpen - needed to get to the All-Star Break. With an outlook like that, Cols is well on his way to being just like me.

c’mon now, no personal attacks
by The Grimace on Jul 7, 2013 | 1:50 PM up reply rec (5) flag

The only way that could be a personal attack is if you had a low opinion of me, which is a borderline libelous thing to even insinuate.

No, it’ll be spoken so it will be slander.
Yanks are the Empire. Red Sox are the Empire with PR claiming they are the Rebellion.
by OPace on Jul 7, 2013 | 4:02 PM up reply rec (5) flag

My mother always used to tell me that the other kids picked on me because they were jealous; I think that also applies to the abuse I take in this column.

It might also be that you shout and rant like a crazy person.
by Chief Wahoo on Jul 8, 2013 | 10:21 PM up reply rec (4) flag

Absolutely false. I feel like, despite this season's twists and turns, my sanity is still fully intact.

It started with 12,000 hit points, but after a recent battle with a blue dragon, it’s down to 7,625.
Let's Go Tribe, SBNation's Cleveland Indians blog
by Jason Lukehart on Jul 10, 2013 | 9:21 PM up reply rec (5)

Fair enough. Along those lines (I think), I'll be honest in saying that I don't completely understand this, but it seems awesome and a bit frivolous, so I like it.

Actually, I think this is the Travarlos Baurrasco Chimera in full force:

by CLEinAZ on Jul 8, 2013 | 7:45 PM up reply rec (7) flag

If anyone wants to explain this to me in the comments, awesome. Here's the rest of your week in green.

What happens with your downstairs is your own personal business, I’d think.
"The Yankees are supposed to win...for you to be a dildo arrogant fan on top of that, that's like going to a casino and cheering for the house. Have some character, pick an underdog." ~Doug Stanhope
by weareallkipnisses on Jul 10, 2013 | 7:06 PM up reply rec (3) flag

Not really. At least when you get a tooth pulled, it doesn’t get to come back and pitch terribly again the next night.
"You’re clearly a magical, hate-filled unicorn." - ahowie
by Turkmenbashi on Jul 7, 2013 | 4:26 PM up reply rec (4) flag

Don’t disagree, but I still found it to be humorous. Like the "Maddux" shutout has now become a thing, I think the "Ubaldo" (6 shutout innings at 100+ pitches) should become a thing.

I also vote we append the quality start (6 IP, 3 ER or less) with a "Ubaldo" quality start (5IP, 2ER or less, 100+ pitches). That way we could cut all discussion describing Ubaldo’s performance to no more than a handful of words!
by CLEinAZ on Jul 10, 2013 | 10:02 AM up reply rec (6)

Our bullpen makes me want to drink gasoline.
by CLEinAZ on Jul 10, 2013 | 9:55 PM reply rec (4) flag

"What have you done for me this inning, Carlos?"
by troyflowers on Jul 7, 2013 | 2:52 PM up reply rec (4) flag

Mark Reynolds may hit .100 before the year is over, does that count?
by CLEinAZ on Jul 11, 2013 | 12:13 PM up reply rec (9) flag

i always love a good "people on here" argument.
by Brick. on Jul 11, 2013 | 12:17 PM up reply rec (3) flag

Bud Grinder sounds like the player of Eric Wedge’s dreams.
by cleveland teamer on Jul 11, 2013 | 10:51 AM up reply rec (12) flag

You two are out of your minds.
Let's Go Tribe, SBNation's Cleveland Indians blog
by Jason Lukehart on Jul 11, 2013 | 2:15 PM up reply rec (3) flag

No you didn’t, because it did not feature LORD SALAZAR, EMPEROR OF OUR HOPES AND DREAMS.
by CLEinAZ on Jul 11, 2013 | 12:41 PM up reply rec (4) flag

Well, I don’t know much about astronomy, but I would say it’s probably impossible for two planets to be on the same planet.
"You’re clearly a magical, hate-filled unicorn." - ahowie
by Turkmenbashi on Jul 7, 2013 | 2:01 PM up reply rec (4) flag

playing baseball is a bad match up for Reynolds.
Motto every Cleveland fan should live by, "Hope for the best, expect the worst."
Only cowards wave towels.
by PaduaDSP on Jul 11, 2013 | 1:12 PM up reply rec (5) flag


"In the end they'll judge me anyways, so whatever" - Kid Cudi
by Windians on Jul 11, 2013 | 1:26 PM reply rec (3) flag

PUT ANOTHER STAMP ON IT, THAT’S GOING AIRMAIL

/suggestion for bad Underwoodism
by YoDaddyWags on Jul 11, 2013 | 1:51 PM reply rec (6) flag

Colby Rasmus looks like two fifths of a werewolf.
by Ellaybee on Jul 11, 2013 | 2:39 PM reply rec (4) flag


Let's Go Tribe, SBNation's Cleveland Indians blog
by Jason Lukehart on Jul 11, 2013 | 2:49 PM reply rec (25)

It’s been a long afternoon, I’m Gaussed.
by supermarioelia on Jul 7, 2013 | 4:02 PM up reply rec (4) flag

Me too. Let's hit the weekend. Anyone else want to get in their opinion on ol' Joel D before we go?

Dang skippy.

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