Soylent Green is People: 7/26

Pkew, pkew, pkew. #pkew - Otto Greule Jr

They like the way I roll/ they like the way I lean They like the way shine when I pull up on the green

Hello all. I like this. I like what we have going here. Win, lose, or draw, our little community grows a little bit more active every day. I hate to sound like a hippie, but we are all bound together by our common-

Enough with the nonsense. Win a game.

Oh. I guess we have less people on board the love train than I thought we did.

Never mind, LGT is really a group of pedants and petty heroes who love to track down and destroy others' mistakes like so many Gordon Ramsays roving through the pantry, seeking who he may devour.

Swisher cares not for your kitchen analogies.

Fine. Since you guys (and apparently Nick Swisher) are the experts, how about we play a game where we see how long you all could last doing this.

This is going to be the best game ever.

I was actually bluffing; I didn't think you'd actually jump on it like that. I hope you hadn't started in on getting ready for it. I'm going to go ahead and keep with what I'm doing here.

Well, that's the last time I google anything for you.

I don't know what you were doing on Google; everything you need is right here on LGT.

Steroids.

Let the thread begin.

*ducks and runs

That doesn't even make sense. I don't think there's any connection to be made there at all. I know you all were apparently not entirely blown away by this, but I'm a sucker for a good pun. This would have been your green of the week...

You are saying you hope we get….bats in the Pelfrey?

If not for this brilliant chain:

Right now Lee-Harvey-Oswalt-Kennedy-Johnson is a possible, if very weird, five man rotation.

You and your theories.

Wiki, anent Minute Maid Park:

Fielding is a challenge there as well, due to the 90-foot (27 m) wide center field incline known as Tal’s Hill, for former team president Tal Smith, an element taken from Crosley Field and other historic ballparks (in a bit of gallows humor, the hill is also known as the “Grassy Knoll”)

WHERE OSWALT PLAYED FOR TEN YEARS

TAL SMITH WAS NAMED PRESIDENT OF THE ASTROS ON NOV. 22 1994—THIRTY-ONE YEARS TO THE DAY AFTER THEKENNEDY ASSASSINATION. WILLIAM ZAPRUDER WAS INTERVIEWED BY DALLAS TV STATIONS THIRTY-ONE MINUTESAFTER TWO PM ON NOV. 22, 1963. COINCINDENCE?

TYPO IN COINCIDENCE! COINCIDENCE?!?

YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH. If I knew how to do that thing that looks like a dude putting on his shades, here's where I'd bust that out. Instead, just enjoy the rest of your week in green.

carl willis! if this visit is anything like his old ones, we’ll get a big hit in the next couple minutes.

I really wasn’t going to let you throw any innings, to be honest.

can Silver figure out a way to get Chris Berman off ESPN?

Sorry— I’m fewer disheartened to know that Scherz has replaced him.

i also can’t type Kaz without thinking of Tadano and all the hot zone thoughts that come with that.

Turns water into wins.


The problem with all of these contortions in defense of the poor witches is that, having been found to weigh the same as a duck, which means they float on water, which means they’re made of wood, which means they’re witches, they all say, like Connie Booth in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, "It’s a fair cop."

Peralta’s production has been stable?

Hundreds of baseball players wear magical necklaces and bracelets that they think alter their electrical currents or some such other bullcrap.

That’s not to say PEDs do not affect performance. It’s also entirely relevant that no one risks suspension by wearing those necklaces.

But I did want to get a dig in at those things, because they’re dumb.

Off topic, but that Thome batflip is legendary

Which isn’t to say you aren’t.

I’m just busting your chops. You know I love like tolerate you, Chuck.

WHAT MORE DOES JONAS SALK HAVE TO DO?

ONLY A COMPLETE IDIOT would bring Jonas Salk into this discussion.

the other 10% is world views.

Yeah, but what are their world views?

The Manning/Eckersley thing goes deeper than you could possibly imagine.

Quick update on what the community is thinking of the author of this particular feature.

The guy can’t lose.

I'm happy to close on that. If you're at the Lancaster Fine Arts Festival Saturday, come up and say hi to me. I'll be the one in the plum-colored shirt that says "SECURITY" on it on the back. Brad D will be the one who looks the same, just shorter. Au revoir.

This was a weird five minutes.

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